(they say a blog post title should grab you. . .Did this one grab you? :)
I'm re-reading a great book by David Nasser titled Glory Revealed. In it was this statement from him~
"Never miss an opportunity to shut up."
I posted this on Facebook and asked for comments. Here are a few of them. . .
"Always heard that God gave us one mouth and TWO ears for a reason."
"Our willingness to to truly listen demonstrates love. Often a person will arrive at a solution just by talking it through."
"WOW! Wish I had read this yesterday."
(I'm guessing but I think the above is maybe thinking what is said in this next comment I received)
"This is an area that the Lord has REALLY been working in me this past year. As the family 'peace maker', it felt natural to me. But I'm discovering the freedom of 'butting out' and allowing the Lord to work in others."
What Mr. Nasser was saying is that we want so badly to rush in and trouble shoot and fix others problems, that we end up hurting them more than helping. . .arm chair quarterbacks.
We need to step aside and let the Holy Spirit do His work and let Him guide our mouths. I think stepping in with words is really easy for us women because I'm guessing a lot of us are people pleasers and we want everyone to be happy. But I've seen men do this too. If we don't know the whole situation and it is not something we had committed to prayer, then we need to use those two God given ears more than the one mouth. Mr Nasser says, in these kind of moments, we need to 'righteously shut up.'
So when do you know when to speak up and when to shut up?
First of all, did they ask? Second, pray and listen for the leading of the Holy Spirit. There may be some awkward moments, but I've learned that in those moments, the person is thinking and they can hear Him best and process in those non-chattering moments and we should also be listening. Let Him do His work and you be there with caring arms and ears.
Sometimes, we can love best when we shut up.
(And as a people pleaser, I say this in the most loving way)
9 comments:
Yes, you absolutely got my attention with that title. I thought, "What in the world has happened to Kris?" "Shut up" was the equivalent of 4 letter word when we were growing up, so the three of us would say, "Up Shut Backwards" when we got angry with each other!!
I wondered about the title (for a few minutes) because we do not say that in our home, but felt it went with the post. And I thought the people who know me. . .it would grab them ;)
Love it - love the title. It reminds me of my girls they say it as sarcasm meaning gee whiz, golly-wolly (words from Princess Diaries). LOL
Oh mercy - loved your comment today. I'd love to read your stories as I related to all. I too have countless stories of the homeless I've been fortunate to get to know. And while ministering to those down and out I've really learned to listen. I listen while they talk and talk and talk. But I know I have to win their trust before any word I ever utter will make a difference. Plus in the listening, I've learned so much.
It did definitely grab me. Especially because of the issues in my family. Maybe I should just "shut up" and read the book. In my situation I have learned this; even if you may be afraid for someone's safety...if they don't want help to fix the problem, you can't help them.
Thank you for posting this Kristin. I know this is not just for me but what you have said helps me a lot.
Blessings...Chelle
Really like this.
Good point and thanks for sharing. And when I listen I need to really look like i'm listening and listen for real!
Remembering that James reminds us (me!)to be swift to hear and slow to speak...
oh...I am learning this my friend...I have a strong quote on my blog about our words...thanks for sharing this...just might have to check out this book.
Thank you girls! Now I can go "WHEW! I was afraid after posting, that maybe the title would be offensive to someone. I I certainly did not mean for it to.
And I think we all at times have used our mouth when we should have used the ears more. I know being with the homeless, it's the listening on my part that means SO much to them. I would like to fix all their problems, but cannot, but I can introduce them to the One who can help, and then just let them talk. We all need that at times, don't we, to just talk to someone without them trying to fix us? To be a friend who is just there beside us. . .caring.
And Ro, I saw that wonderful quote on your site, but my comment would not go through. Your blessings were beautiful! :)
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