I opened up the e-mail and there it was. An invitation to step out of another comfort zone. An invitation to come speak at a church about the blanket ministry for the homeless I had started several years ago. I actually had spoke at this church last year and they wanted me to come back to give an update and share whatever I wanted. That familiar knot hit me right in the stomach and I typed out “yes” to the invitation.
Speaking in front of a group of people whether it’s 50 or 500, the numbers do not matter, it’s just the act of getting up in front of people with all eyes on me that makes me nervous. I don’t know why. It’s probably selfish. It’s not about me and I know that. And I’m passionate about the homeless. They have become my friends. That is why I can say yes, even though I’m shaking like a leaf. I also can say yes, because I know these invitations are from God and I also believe His promises. . .like the one that says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
A friend responded to me on fb with this quote. . . “The bigger the discomfort, the bigger the blessing.” So true! After every time of stepping out of the comfort zone, I am blessed big time! I am beginning to see the discomfort as a blessing, because when the blessing comes at the end, I know it’s all God. It’s God who speaks through me, it’s God who reaches out and touches, it’s God who does the work. He’s just using this crackpot of a vessel and it is a privilege to be used by Him. I always pray before I leave the house to go speak that all glory would go to Him, my Father, my Savior. And it does. And this makes me happy, sometimes giddy.
I think being a crackpot can be good in some ways because then the light can shine through it. It also allows the cruddy stuff to run out so it can be filled with the good. So maybe, just maybe, this crackpot is ok with the knot in her stomach as He fills her up. Maybe the knot is like the thorn in Paul’s side. . .a reminder? I’d like to tell God that I don’t need a reminder, I know what I need to know, but then I can hear Him say, “I know more.”
Ok Lord, take this crackpot and use her, shakes, knots and all! She's ready.
What puts a knot in your stomach?
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11 comments:
The college principal at the BC I attended (many years ago) would only give us a minute or so notice that we were going to be called upon to give testimony in front of hundreds of people. That used to give me knots! Also, speaking in front of crowds at the Mound in Edinburgh gave me knots. I used to love door-to-door outreach however and chatting to people one-to-one.
Hi Kristin
Left you a comment on my blog :D
I know you'll do great Kris. GOD always comes through!
Blessings...Chelle
Oh geez, I can totally relate to the 'nerves' getting the best of you in front of people. You just have no idea how much this scares me. It seems I am alway put in the position though. I always instantly feel tears coming when I speak. Whether it is because I'm emotional about the subject or emotional because I'm scared and then I get the giggles and that makes me cry. I have a hard time leading a bible study group. But, I've been leading for years. Ugh! Anyway, I heard Joyce Meyer speak about a 'crackpot' one time and I have never forgotten it.
You'll do great if it is anything like your writing here on your blog.
Bless you dear, He can, and will use you.
When God is urging us to move outside of our comfort zones, He knows what He can do through us long before we do.
Thanks for stopping by my blog today and leaving a comment. I enjoyed "meeting" you.
Blessings,
Laura
I'm with you girl! I've clearly heard God say you are called to speak to 1000's about what I've done in your life and the ministry He's called me to. I saw the vision over 10 years ago and I'm not there. Not even close and I get sick thinking about it, BUT (whenever there's a BUT...there's GOD) I know what He calls you to, He provides. Keep the faith and can't wait to hear how it goes.
Oh I can relate completely! But you are so right. The blessings of obedience always outweigh the butterflies. God has used you in a mighty way and will continue to guide you through, I know.
Tresa
OH Girls, it went beautifully! And yes Tresa, the blessings outweigh the butterflies. The people in the church were SO kind, loving and gracious that they just put you right at ease. A lovely church! And they are going to collect blankets for our ministry for the homeless. Blessings indeed!
God bless you!
I really loved this post. I found your blog when I posted it to Ruby and so glad I did. I got so nervous at church one day that when I was lector and got to the altar, I looked at the book in my hand and couldn't remember where I was or what I was supposed to do. God grabbed a hold of me and guided me right before I panicked. Donna
http://mylife-in-stories.blogspot.com
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