*(For my new friends E and K. . .this was taken last Thanksgiving. The Easter plate was also empty. Yes, I do understand!)*
I know they meant well. After the precious son left, I kept being told Proverbs 22:6…”Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, will not depart from it.” After so many times of hearing this, I just wanted to scream, “So, I’m suppose to wait until he is old!?” (I’m not a perfect being)
God came in and healed so many ways. But even with a healed heart, a mother still wonders, how long? There comes a point when you have to lay down expectations and love no matter what. It’s a choice. I choose to love even though there is no college education. I choose to love even though the hair is long. I choose to love the dirty fingernails. I choose to love even though there are rare phone calls. I choose to love even though there are few steps over my threshold. I choose to love even though there are no real explanations. I choose to love when there are no real answers. I choose to love when there is green paint on the piano keys. I choose to love when love does not come back. I choose to love in spite of the quiet day after day, week after week, month after month. I choose to love when he comes and when he goes. I choose to love when there is no music. I choose to love as I look at the empty plate.
I choose because I cannot do anything else. His heart beat inside of me for nine months. The child came out but the heartbeat still rings inside of me. He leaves, and yet he is still with me. I love because I cannot do anything else but love the one I bore, this precious gift from God, how could I but not love, no matter what.
The heart chooses to forgive and love grows even more. . .it lets the Eagle Scout go and accepts whoever comes back, because he is still her precious gift, no matter what the wrapping looks like. This love trusts her Heavenly Father, knowing He is working on this one, precious even more to Him. Love stays in the heart, but let’s go, believing it will come back in time as it was meant to be. Love quits asking, “When” and just believes.
“Train up a child in the way he should go and be ready to forgive him.” Ann Voskamp
Yes, we love, we train, we love, we let go, we love in the hurt, we love in the forgiveness, we just love, because we mothers were made to love.
We love because He first loved us.
1 John 4:19
. . .perplexed, but not in despair!
11 Corinthians 4:8
*(to my new friends E and K, we will stand together in prayer, we will keep loving and we will keep serving and we will keep trusting)*
10 comments:
Amen, beautifully written.
I like you understand love no one else can. The rare phone call asking for shoes, the tears of I will get sober and off the streets and back out he goes. Love because that is what we do and what God wants us to do!
Oh, the love you speak of is the hard kind.. makes my heart hurt and hope all at once. Will join you in prayer as you love despite....
So sweet. And so true. As I was taught when Justin was wandering, "as long as they're still breathing, there is still hope". I continue to pray for your "prodigal" and believe God will bring beauty out of the ashes.
Love you dear friend.
Oh this is so full of raw truth...continuing to pray for T...holding all before the Throne. blessings~
Beautiful words of wisdom. I've been a prodigal child. The greatest and most powerful thing a parent can do is commit their children into God's hands and Keep Praying!
Denise~thank you! I love it when your green butterfly pops up here:)
Quiltingranny~I know you understand and yours is still in my prayers. We will keep loving and trusting!
Alicia~Please don't hurt, but I will gladly accept your prayers. You are sweet!
ells~You are so sweet to remember T. Thank you SO much faithful one!
Jenn, I can't believe you once were a prodigal! You sweet thing, you give me hope! Thank you!
Jennie~my so faithful friend, I love you too!
Kristin, I read this over several times, trying to grasp hold of your heart as it wrapped itself around mine. Most mommas love their sons deeply, but when a momma understands the love of the Father, somehow, the momma/son love is even deeper than ever! Add to that, your compassion for the world all broken down into individual people, one on one, no matter who or what they are, I can feel your heart bursting, hurting, yet loving deeper and deeper. The icing on the cake? You can find all this compassion, hold it in your hand, and write it down in ways that grab us all. This is, by far, your greatest writing yet! Why? because you laid your heart out bare and open, risking whatever reaction anyone could have in return. I'm still praying for you, for your precious son, and for all those who walk the streets looking for . . . what their mommas have! Bless you, my friend. May God REALLY bless you!
Oh Cora, Bless your heart! We may have never met, but you grabbed my heart a long time ago:) Your comments and e-mails bless me so. I have begun to think that maybe God led me into the homeless community for one being, He knew my heart needed to love and could not where I craved, so he led to those who need and want it. People say what a blessing I am to them, BUT really, they have been a blessing to ME. I will always be grateful to them for that.
Cora, I love you dear woman! :)
It'so true. I read it with tears in my eyes. Thank you.
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