Does a Gift Have to Have a Bow?

Good ol' Oswald Chambers!  He was one bright guy!  Here is what I read one day in his devotional, My Utmost For His Highest". . . "Anything that has even a hint of dejection spiritually is always wrong.  If I am depressed or burdened, I am to blame, not God or anyone else.  Dejection stems from one of two sources - I have either satisfied a lust or I have not satisfied it.  In either case, dejection is the result."
I really began to ponder on this.

Early in my marriage, I always felt dejected when my birthday rolled around, Valentines Day, or our anniversary and I didn't received a present all wrapped up and donning a bow.  To me, this just naturally showed love from the giver to the givee.  But as I learned long ago from another bright author, gift giving is not my husband's love language.  I learned that my husband's love language was "doing".  He cleans the carpets, fixes my lawnmower when it breaks down, keeps my car in good, safe working order, goes to the bridge when I want to deliver blankets to the homeless, and is willing to sit in a hospital waiting room after working all day so we can take an alcoholic in for help, and he does it all without ever complaining or grumbling.  I know this would be a gift to some ladies out there.  I learned to appreciate that but still on those special days. . .I may have been holding my breath just a little to only breath out deflated when no bow topped gift appeared.

Don't get me wrong.  It's not about the gift in the box.  It is the time one spends getting the gift, the thought put into it and know they were thinking of you enough to take the time to put it all together.  THAT is what I wanted and THAT is what I thought shouted out "I love you!"  I guess Oswald Chambers would say that is what I was lusting after.  That lust was not fulfilled and so dejection sets in. Even if I got a card or a nice dinner, dejection was still lying there underneath.

I've had to pray and lay those lusts, (I like the word expectations better) at the foot of the cross.  Now I smile and feel loved when I see my husband changing the oil in my car and checking the tires and any of the other 1000 things he does for me. I know he loves me, I have no doubts. He gives me gifts every day and I have learned to appreciate them. They just don't come with a bow and that's alright.

I have been married for 30 years.  I didn't learn this until around the 10 year mark. I wish I had learned this before I got married. If I could give a bride to be a gift, I would give her two books.  Actually there are many books I would want to give her, but for this post, I will mention two. . .

Love Languages by Gary Smalley

and

My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers

Is this a sign of maturity?  After 10 years, I could just hear God and Keith say, "It's about time!"  But both are too gentlemanly to say that :)

And the love I get from these two. . .
That needs no bow!

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OK. . .after finishing this post I received a package in the mail.  I had to come back and share what it was.  It came just days before Valentine's Day and had my name on it.
I opened it up and found something I had seen on Katie Davis's (Kisses from Katie) website Amazima and had mentioned how neat it was.  It was a necklace made from the Ugandan Women.  The beads are made out of newspaper, but you would never know it.  The money for the jewlery all goes back to the Ugandan women to help them support their families.  I liked that idea.
Hubby ordered the red necklace.
It's beautiful to me, not just aesthetically, but because of who went to the trouble to order it and because of who made it.
Look for yourself. . .

and what's this. . .

I guess an old dog can learn new tricks ;)

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