Why a blog from me, someone who has never been a writer, someone who has never been articulate or had a solid grasp of the grammar world. Because God told me to write. Several years ago a life storm invaded my family. God kept telling me to write it all down. I argued, but He would not let up. This went on every day for a couple of weeks until one day out of frustration, (I'd like to say it was out of obedience), I picked up a pen and paper and wrote for 7 hours straight! Do you think maybe I needed therapy and God knew it?

I've been writing ever since and have learned to love it! I started out sharing my stories with friends and family. I've now been published in a Nashville church paper, Our Daily Journey (a devotional site of RBC Ministries), PCCWeb Daily Devotional, Ruby for Women Ezine Magazine, and I am a contributor in the book Alabaster Jars, Life in Abundance Collection 2.

Why Ponderings? During this life storm, God led me to a pond in the woods behind my home. There He met me each time, teaching new lessons, reminding me of old ones, showing His presence and allowing me to feel His love through the surroundings of that pond. I found myself returning over and over to ponder, pray and praise. A healing of my heart took place and out of the experience came my first book, Ponderings From the Pond, then a second book, Ponderings From My Porch, and now a third book is in the works along with a memoir about my storm.

Why am I making myself so vulnerable? Because God has done so much that I cannot keep quiet. I have to share. Jesus's last words to his desciples were, "Go,tell." We are his disciples too and this is just one of my ways of telling.

I'm no scholar but I have heard God's voice in my spirit, experience His love daily, and have a desire for others to experience this also. I would love to share with all who visit and I would love to hear from you. If my sharing gets just one to ponder, to be quiet with the Father, to see and hear from Him or to be reminded of something from Him, then this is worth my vulnerability.

As you visit me, sometimes we will be at the pond, sometimes we will move to the front porch, and sometimes we will just be here, there, and yonder. Thank you for coming and please feel free to come back anytime, you are always welcome here.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14


My first book, Ya Know What I'm Say'n, has been released.



Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Momma Bear Syndrome

Standing at the bridge last Tuesday night with my Homeless Outreach Team, I kept watching a very young couple.  This was their second time coming. She is pregnant and puts up a tough front; he looks lost and scared. This night the temperature was in the 30's and was lightly raining. They didn't have on much warm clothing, his cloth tennis shoes were soaking wet. We were all shivering but I knew I was going soon back to my warm home.  They had no where to go.

I always pray before heading out to the bridge asking God to guide me and the others.  This Momma Bear wanted to grab this young couple and bring them home but the Lord was saying, "NO". I was led though to give each of them a sleeping bag, blankets, a couple of bags filled with goodies,( new warm socks, gloves, chapstick, toiletry bags, handwarmers, a Bible, etc.) and I told them about a barn close by that would get them out of the frightful weather.  My heart broke as they took off in one direction and I drove off in the other.

The next morning with them still being on my mind, I posted a facebook status about them.  Immediately, two of my friends who live in other states commented back; one wanted to send money for the couple to be able to stay in a motel for a week and the other friend asked how she could help them with specific needs. I asked the director friend of mine who runs the nonprofit agency who our bridge ministry is under what her thoughts were and she said that would not change their circumstances and if it got out that they were given a room, everyone else out there would expect it and it just can't be done. I thought, "but I could do it on my own, it didn't have to be under the agency."

I then went to my prayer closet and went to the One who knows the answers to all.  He immediately brought to mind Tony. Tony is a former homeless friend of mine who lived under the bridge for 14 months. A year ago, he rededicated his life to the Lord and has been faithfully living for Him ever since. A month ago, Tony got a permanent job and is now living in his own place. I told him how sorry I was that he had to live under the bridge all that time and he said to me, "I'm not. I couldn't see Jesus before. God had to bring me to underneathe the bridge for me to see Him. If my needs had always been met, I may still not have seen Him to this day."  I was also told in my prayer closet that housing them for a week in a motel, it would just delay His plans.  I knew what I had to do.

As hard as it is for this Momma Bear, I felt God was telling me He has this young couple right where He wants them for now. I don't believe He put them out there, they did that themselves.  They made choices that led to where they are. But God can bring good out of a hard situation if people will let Him and others stay out of the way. I never want to step in His way and mess with His plans so I stepped back.

For me, one of the hardest things as a Christian is to step back in situations that are hard to look at. Momma Bear syndrome wants to kick in and step in and save the day.  But this world has only One Savior,(our Heavenly Father Bear).  He knows best.  Even when our best seems to make more sense, in the grand scheme of things, in the big picture, it really isn't.  Only God can see the BIG picture.  I only see parts of it at a time. Sometimes He tell me to go and sometimes He tells me to stay back. I have to be sure I'm listening to the One in charge.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.
Isaiah 55:8

I know God has lessons for these two young kids and I have to trust that He will teach as He sees fit. And the lesson for me is to step back when He says to and trust Him, and to step forward and trust Him when He says "Go."  Key words here. . .trust and obey.

My Momma Bear syndrome will have to be tucked away for now but is on standby for when I hear the Savior say, "Ok. . .Momma Bear can come out now."

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Shakin' the Foundation said...

Beautiful post from one "momma bear" to another!!! I truly love to watch how God uses you in His Children's lives!!!
Bless you my dear sweet friend!!!


Ro Elliott said...

I love the wisdom God gave you....going to the One who has all the wisdom...I am walking with my niece whose husband walked out on her and 3small children...one is only is only 9wks old....I think the biggest battle for her...and sometimes me...is not the situation...but to believe the lie...God is not good...and is not trustworthy . When we start to believe this lie...we take things in our own hands...and then it is easier to become angry with God. I hear Him whisper in my ear"I have got this"...truly seeing His ways are not my ways. Thanks for sharing and maybe you will get the honor of seeing their redemptive story unfold

Michell Pulliam said...

Kristen, your stories are heartbreaking, but someone has to tell them, so we won't ever forget! Thank you for walking out your calling my friend and thanks for sharing with us all! You definitely did YOURSELF WELL this week! Thanks for linking up! Have a blessed evening "Mama Bear"! ;-)

Michell Pulliam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beth Zimmerman said...

One of the hardest things I have ever had to do as a parent is release my children to the Lord's discipline because I know how much it can hurt! But I also know that He loves them and that they need His hand on them!

My 34 y.o. daughter is a drug addict. (Still hard to say.) She spent most of the summer of 2011 in jail. When she got out we told her she could come home to start over only if she complied with our rules. She couldn't, or wouldn't, and so she is not here. We knew that might mean she would be homeless but somehow she always finds someone to rescue her. In a way I wish they wouldn't ... because the sooner she hits bottom ... the sooner she will turn around. I hope.

I would have struggled to leave them there too. What is right is not always what is easy!

Jedidja said...

This blog touches me, kristin. it's hard to step back but you're right. God sees everything in a wider perspective ... Let him control,let him watch over ...

Kali said...

Such words of wisdom and so hard to do!! Praying that God will continue to show up at the bridge and to those who need Him so. Changes are being made for the kingdom every week in the lives of those who come and those who serve. What a blessing:)

Vicky said...

I think there is such wisdom in this and it took a lot of grace and reflection for you to come to this viewpoint. When I worked in the Psych unit with kids, we had so many heartbreaking stories walk through our doors every day. I wanted to take so many of them home with me and yet knew somehow that it didn't solve anything for them either. But I like your perspective- makes me feel better that I didn't try harder to do that. Instead I brought clothes, books, hair conditioner, etc., anything I could that brought some measure of comfort.

Prayers for the young family- and for your momma bear heart to bear it all!

Jennifer said...

It's a Friday Flash Blog! Please share your favorite posting of the week and see what others are talking about at http://www.fridayflashblog.blogspot.com

Denise said...

Lovely post.

Mary Reed said...

Kristen, first, thank you for having an ear to hear God's calling on your life and for your obedience. As a fellow Mama Bear who has worked with the homeless over the years, I know how hard it is to get in that car and drive away when you just want to DO something to 'fix' it. I'm thankful for your discernment to 'do the hard' and allow God to do His work in their hearts.
Thank you for sharing this. I'm glad you came by Mary @ Woman to Woman today!
Blessings to you ~ Mary