Why a blog from me, someone who has never been a writer, someone who has never been articulate or had a solid grasp of the grammar world. Because God told me to write. Several years ago a life storm invaded my family. God kept telling me to write it all down. I argued, but He would not let up. This went on every day for a couple of weeks until one day out of frustration, (I'd like to say it was out of obedience), I picked up a pen and paper and wrote for 7 hours straight! Do you think maybe I needed therapy and God knew it?

I've been writing ever since and have learned to love it! I started out sharing my stories with friends and family. I've now been published in a Nashville church paper, Our Daily Journey (a devotional site of RBC Ministries), PCCWeb Daily Devotional, Ruby for Women Ezine Magazine, and I am a contributor in the book Alabaster Jars, Life in Abundance Collection 2.

Why Ponderings? During this life storm, God led me to a pond in the woods behind my home. There He met me each time, teaching new lessons, reminding me of old ones, showing His presence and allowing me to feel His love through the surroundings of that pond. I found myself returning over and over to ponder, pray and praise. A healing of my heart took place and out of the experience came my first book, Ponderings From the Pond, then a second book, Ponderings From My Porch, and now a third book is in the works along with a memoir about my storm.

Why am I making myself so vulnerable? Because God has done so much that I cannot keep quiet. I have to share. Jesus's last words to his desciples were, "Go,tell." We are his disciples too and this is just one of my ways of telling.

I'm no scholar but I have heard God's voice in my spirit, experience His love daily, and have a desire for others to experience this also. I would love to share with all who visit and I would love to hear from you. If my sharing gets just one to ponder, to be quiet with the Father, to see and hear from Him or to be reminded of something from Him, then this is worth my vulnerability.

As you visit me, sometimes we will be at the pond, sometimes we will move to the front porch, and sometimes we will just be here, there, and yonder. Thank you for coming and please feel free to come back anytime, you are always welcome here.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14


My first book, Ya Know What I'm Say'n, has been released.



Sunday, February 27, 2011

Road Kill and Clothing

           We live on a two lane country road called New Cut Road. The first year we were here, my boys said it should have been named Road Kill Road.  After many trips up and down this country path, we’ve seen our share of expired rabbits, raccoons, squirrels and some you just had to guess on.
            I saw the strangest thing one day from my rocking chair on the front porch.  A car drove by slowly past my house and disappeared.  Then a couple of minutes later it drove by again from the other direction and stopped.  There were four guys inside.  One of them got out, picked up a dead raccoon from the side of the road, put it in the car and drove off.  I was bewildered.  What did they want with a dead raccoon?  All I could think of was maybe they wanted to skin it and have the hide.
            I don’t know why but Genesis 3:21 came to mind.  It says,
            “The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.”  Just one little inconspicuous line.  There is not even a footnote on this particular sentence.  But there is a lot in this verse if you think about it.
            At this time, an animal had never been killed.  The creator of the animals was the first one to kill and it was all because of disobedience on the part of Adam and Eve.  They ate from the tree God told them not to.  Before this, they felt no shame in their nakedness because of their innocence, but afterwards, because of their sin, they felt shame and they hid from God putting up a barrier.  God, I’m sure, felt so disappointed in them, in their bad choice, and the barrier that was put up between them.
            But notice what God did.  He killed the first animal and made clothes for them.  To me, this is such a loving act.  And, just as He always does, provided for them what they needed so they would be comfortable to come out from hiding.  Yes, they had to pay consequences, but God didn’t leave them floundering in their nakedness.
            And God doesn’t leave us either.  He did give us free will to make choices but He is always there waiting when we want to drop the barriers that we have put up ourselves.
            In the beginning God sacrificed the first animal to clothe his first two children.  Generations later, He sacrificed His son to provide the clothing of righteousness to all His children who want to exchange their sin for this wonderful covering.
            I don’t know what the guys did with the raccoon from my street.  It certainly isn’t going to clothe anyone.  But it did bring a beautiful reflection to me of our loving creator, our provider, our tailor.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we
Might become (clothed) in the righteousness of God.
ll Corinthians 5:21

" naming offers the gift of recognition...the naming of moments is truly a holy work."  Ann Voskamp

151.  funny scenes from my front porch
152.  coverings
153.  my Heavenly Tailor
154.  porch swings
155.  reflections
156.  piano lessons for little hands
these big hands could enjoy playing
157.  sounds of a rain at night while in bed
158.  giggles and hugs from little girls

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Simply Saturday

Simply Saturday with Jenn

Simple Saturday Bird Watching and Pondering. . . what on earth are they saying to each other?

Maybe. . ."I was here first?"
Do you have a catchy title?


Thursday, February 24, 2011


As I sat outside on my deck, I laid my head back and gazed upwards.  I took in all the bare branches of the many trees and I thought, “I am so ready for you trees to get dressed.”  I’m ready for them to don their new outfits of spring colored flowers followed by the finest of green leaves.  A few of my trees have the beginnings of buds, telling me they are getting ready for the runways of the land.

I dream of the trees getting dressed and I ponder. . .how did I dress myself this morning?  The proverbs 31 woman comes to mind as being clothed in strength and dignity.  I look down at myself this morning and think I do not look very dignified in my pajama bottoms and big baggy shirt.

And then I think of that other suit mentioned in the Bible, the full armor of God.  Did I put on the belt of truth, the breast plate of righteousness, are my feet filled with readiness that comes from the gospel of peace?  Am I taking up the shield of faith and did I put on the helmet of salvation?  Am I holding the sword of the Spirit.  I look down at my Bible and think yes, I am holding it, in lap and heart.  After 37 years of being His Child, I can say, “Yes”, I am dressed properly.  There are times, when I need to take a look in the mirror and adjust some of my clothing, but because I am His completely, I am dressed properly.  Do I always look strong and dignified?  I don’t think so, and those are the times I need to adjust that shield on my breast, check my shoes, and make sure the belt is bucked properly. 

When I began making my trips to the pond, my suit had become loosened, baggy, and not in good shape.  I had become weak, with the breath knocked out of me because of choices and actions from some around me.  But the Lord met me each time, tightening up that belt, straightening the breast plate and getting my feet ready for a ministry I didn’t see coming.

My strength becomes stronger each day.  My strength comes from the Lord, I know this full well, so I never take His suit off.  I pray as each day passes, dignity will grow in me for I want His light to shine through me and only with His clothing line can I even begin to be robed in dignity.  This clothing is not just about wearing but applying.  I learn as I wear. 

Again, I look down at my baggy clothing donned only for my bed and deck and smile as to how I would look to you all right now.  But as the trees prepare for their new clothing, I prepare each day to come into His presence with my heart open and robed in love. I’m so thankful that my heart is more important to Him than my outer clothing.  Thank you my Lord! 

But when I come to town, I will put on some real clothes for you all. . .if you call blue jeans and a sweatshirt real clothing.

“For man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh at the heart.”
First Samuel 16:7

Psalm 104:16 says. . .The trees of the Lord are watered abundantly…”
If He waters His trees abundantly wouldn’t He water His people abundantly also with blessings?  The water nourishes the trees, and his blessings continue to nourish me. . .

143.  alone time to ponder, pray, and praise
144.  nourishment
145.  clothing, inside and out
146.  the sword of the spirit
147.  strength - the Lord's kind
148.  bare trees - a sort of mirror for me today
149.  visit with a friend
150.  kind, sweet words
(come visit me next week to see how road kill had me pondering about another kind of clothing...hmmm...are you pondering now?  :)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Happily Ever After

Our beloved pastor from our church back home is being laid to rest today.  I live in Kentucky but my heart and thoughts are with my First Baptist family back home in Oklahoma for now. We always say at a time like this, "May he rest in peace", but I personally think he is living it up and having the grandest of times!  Bear with me as I reminisce for a minute or two. . .

I believe the best way we can honor someone is to remember, reflect, smile, and laugh.  Our pastor from back home in Edmond, Oklahoma died a few days ago, February 16 in a motorcycle accident.  It was a beautiful day and he was riding home from church on his bike, when he hit a patch of sand and gravel.  His body went sailing down the street, and his soul went sailing into heaven.

I have not been shepherded under Dr. Day for the past seven years, because seven years ago my family moved to Kentucky.  But he was and will always be thought of as one of our beloved pastors.  I lived under his shepherding for over thirteen years.  We grew our family in his church, both of our boys were baptized there, attended Sunday School, Sunday night classes, and VBS in the summers.

I remember the very first time after moving to Edmond, Dr. Day coming to visit us.  Tim, our oldest and only son at the time, was 3 years old.  Dr. Day seemed a very conservative man who wore suits and I was feeling very young and immature as he came into our little modest duplex and sat down.  Just as he got comfortable, Tim comes running through the living room with not much on, and loudly went running into his room.  Keith, my husband and I smiled shyly and Dr. Day laughed with a “you got a handful there”.  (little did we all know that would not come true until that little one turned 18+). 

Dr. Day was in incredibly intelligent man, a strong, wonderful preaching man, sometimes using words that made me go home and run to the dictionary.  He intimidated me in the beginning.  Not through any fault of his own though, just because of my own immaturity, young age, and insecurities.  But over time I began to see past the big words and suits and began to see the warm, caring, loving person He really was.  He loved his family, loved his church, and loved his Lord with a passion.  Even thought he pastured a large church, he told me one time that if I ever needed to ask a question or talk about something and the office was closed, I had the freedom to call him at his home, WOW!  Impressive coming from a man who shepherded hundreds, if not thousands.

When I befriended a young woman new to my sunday school class, she confided in me about her suicidal tendencies and obvious anerexia problems.  It was obvious she was listening to the enemy more than to her Savior and I became convicted that I along with a few other strong prayer partners, gather with her in my home to lay hands on her, praying to the Father for healing, and also wanted to have a little pow-wow with the enemy telling him to get lost and a few other things.  I knew this was serious, so I went to Dr. Day to discuss this with him.  He already knew about her and the situation.  He supported me right away in what I wanted to do, telling me to go for it.  He didn't suggest that he do it, or be in on it, he had faith that I and my few friends involved could handle it.  He prayed with me for the prayer meeting and sent me on my way with confidence.  That instilled confidence in me.  I had never done anything like this before, but I knew with Dr. Day's blessing and with the Holy Spirits presence there, it would all be alright.  And it was.

Dr. Day, along with Brother John Cobbs, shephereded, taught, and led me out of my comfort zone into the world of evangelism.  This was a huge growth spurt for me and I will always be grateful for them for bringing the FAITH program into the church, teaching and leading by example.  They brought this shy, timid, scared girl out into the world to share the gospel and fulfill what I thought the Lord was asking of me, but couldn’t do it on my own.  I believe because of them and what they brought out of me and put into me, that I was able to have courage to go out into the homeless population with a blanket ministry years later and share once again with complete strangers.  Thank you Dr. Day and Brother John Cobbs for that!

I smile as I think maybe Mr. John met Dr. Day up in Heaven and said, “Let me show you around, you just won’t believe it!”  And then coming face to face with God, His arms open wide and hearing, “Well done, thy good and faithful servant.”  Now I call that a happy ending…actually it’s a happy beginning!

My heart grieves for Dr. Day’s wife and children, and with my First Baptist Family back home.  I know they will miss him terribly.  But I know they count their time with him as a huge blessing and I know our Heavenly Father will comfort them and help them to carry on.  Dr. Day’s mission here on earth is over but ours still goes on, for how long, we never know if it will end tomorrow or years from now.  May we live on as Dr. Day did, living each moment to please the Father, loving the people around us, continue to grow ourselves, so when our last day arrives here, we can begin our “happily ever after”.

(this photo was taken with Dr. Day in 1993, the day of Christopher's baby dedication)

124.  laughter from my three favorite male voices
125.  personal letters
126.  sister's voice over telephone lines - a wise and graceful woman
127.  grace
128.  capris and flip-flops in February - a very welcomed gift!
129.  the very friendly, happy, cheerful bank teller
130.  my God who never leaves me
131.  my God who faithfully continues to love me when I am unlovable
132.  my God whose words are trustworthy
133.  my God who will take all my anxieties and give me peace in return
134.  my God who never changes, being the same yesterday, today and forever
135.  my God who heals the brokenhearted
136.  my God who is full of mercy and grace
137.  my God who guides me into all truth
138.  my God whe teaches me to be content in ALL circumstances
139.  my God who gives me rest when I am weary
140.  my husband who so willingly and cheerfully steam cleaned our carpets and upholstry
141.  devo time with friend out at the hammock
142.  the comfort of a quilt

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Going Home

I leave the pond, walk up the path, and step into the back end of my yard.  I look up at my house, glad to be back home.  I love my home that God has blessed me with, the family inside, and the friends next door. 
            Walking home, I think about when I leave this earth and enter into my heavenly home.  I always pray there will not be suffering in the end, but I take comfort in knowing my Lord will be with me every step of the way.  I smile as I think about hearing the singing of the angels, maybe even seeing their faces or hearing the flutter of their wings.
            When my dad was on death’s door, he kept looking up and smiling, mentioning a couple of times “how beautiful they are.”  He would ask where the beautiful music was coming from.  Of course, I saw and heard nothing, but I believe he was getting his first glimpse and sounds of his new home as he was so close to it at this time.
            The Bible says this world is not our home, that we are just here for a little while.  What does He want us to do here then?  I believe He wants us to get to know Him better. We are called to live holy and godly lives.  We are expected to meet with other believers.  We are to live a life of faith and hope.  We are to serve, forgive, love, to produce fruit, to encourage one another, to lift one up when he is down, to keep our mind alert, our hands busy, resting in the Lord, the older to mentor the younger and to pray for one another.  We are to have relationships on this earth, spread the gospel and His love and do our part to bring others into His kingdom.  Then when we are all called home we will spend eternity with Him and with each other.
I’m sure we all wonder what heaven will be like.  There are even many books out there giving us an idea.  But we will never really know until we take our last earthly breath and enter into the heavenly kingdom.  I can just imagine the big doors opening as we gasp at the beauty and wonder of it all…and then hearing that wonderful, marvelous voice of our Lord saying with his arms opened out to us, “Welcome Home.”

 Where is your citizenship?  The Bible says in Phillipians 3:30,
“As Christians, our citizenship is in Heaven and we will have all the special privileges of heavenly citizenship because we belong to Christ.”
My prayer for you, the reader is that you do belong to Christ and I will meet you one day in our new home.  If you have never given your life to Christ, I pray that you saw Him through these pages, and will take the step of faith, repent of your sins, and invite Jesus into your heart, making him Lord of your life.  I want everyone to experience the grace and mercy and love that I have received, and the joy of knowing Christ personally.
I also pray that you have found some peace and calmness by being at the pond with me.  I encourage you to find your own piece of a quiet spot to reflect, ponder, and pray. Take in all surroundings, feel the sun, feel the breezes, smell the smells, take in all the sights.  And thank God for all the blessings, big and small.
I thank you for pondering with me and look forward to meeting you, if not on this earth, then hopefully in our real home together, and maybe, just maybe, we can go exploring to find new spots…a beach, a mountain, a riverbank, a garden, a pond…

Great are the works of the Lord; they are pondered by all who delight in them.
Psalm 111:2
This is the last story from Ponderings From the Pond.  I have not shared all the stories, just a sampling.  But this is not the end of the blog.  The ponderings will continue because the Father continues to speak, bless, and teach and I have discovered the joy of writing it all down. So please continue to come back and visit. I have also joined with a new blogger friend Jenn, and contribute to her Simply Saturday, all things simple from home and nature. I also continue on with my unwrapped gifts list, because I took Ann Voskamps dare to find 1000 blessings. I'd like to issue you that same dare.  It's fun, it's eye opening, it bubbles the pool of joy.  Please leave your comments and ponderings and if you start that list I would love to hear about it and anything else you would like to share. 
May you hear God in your ponderings. 

118.  beauty in pink

119.  kisses
120.  cleansings - my dirty car through the car wash today - my dirty heart years ago throught the blood of   
121.  grandpa's old chair - 60-70+ years old - another one of my places to ponder, pray, read, write
122.  quietness - so quiet I hear the hum of the air purifier - makes me think of 1John 1:9 : "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
123.  brand new book - fresh pages to turn - soon to be dog-eared, I'm sure

Friday, February 18, 2011

Simply Saturday

Please join my new friend Jenn over at
    A Country Girl's Ramblings  

Simplicity. . .I love wildflowers.  This is a simple lone Queen Anne's Lace out in the field watching the sun set

Photographed by my husband
(he either picks them or shoots them for me)

Monday, February 14, 2011

Love Is A Many Splendored Thing

Love…the word is used in so many ways…I love my husband, I love my children, I love chocolate, I love thunderstorms, I love to write. There is parental love, brotherly love, true love, puppy love, and unconditional love.  If I wanted to get a little theological, I could mention that agape, eros, and phileo are the three kinds of love mentioned in the Bible.  But I’m not much of a theological kind of gal.  I would be more into poetry.   When I ponder on this subject, I can’t help but think of a line from one of Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s poems…”How do I love thee, let me count the ways.”  If God expressed this line, here is how He might answer…
            “I loved thee enough to create a beautiful world for you to live in.”
            “I loved thee enough to make you an individual with your own mind, not a robot, but one with free will to make your own choices.”
            “I loved thee enough to give you My Word to guide you in this world, to give you direction in making wise choices, to show you grace and mercy when you make bad choices, and to show my love through these pages.”
            “I loved thee enough to give you beautiful sunrises and sunsets, beautiful sounds, fragrant flowers, and people to love and be loved by.
            “I loved thee enough to give you unconditional love, not a love based on feelings or emotions, or works by you.”
            “I loved thee enough to not give you all the answers on the earth, so you would learn about trust, to have faith, so we could have a lifetime of building a relationship, to have the fun of learning, so you could experience blessings each day, and learn to be a blessing to others.”
            “I loved thee enough to allow my Son to leave our kingdom to come be born on earth, to grow, to teach, and then to be mocked, tortured, and hung on the cross to die so your sins could be forgiven once and for all.”
            “I loved thee enough to raise him from the grave to show victory over death, to show you that you can claim victory over death if you so choose.”
            If we were to answer this toward God, how would it sound?  It could sound like this…
            “How do I love thee?  I’ll let you know when my television shows are over, when my work is done, when I get some time off, when the vacation is over, after I’ve lived my life my way for awhile.  I’ll let you know tomorrow, next week, next year, or…

            OR, it could sound like this…
            “I love thee enough  to serve others in Christ name.”
            “I love thee enough to love the unlovable, to show your mercy and grace because you’ve shown me the same.” 
             “I love thee enough to build a relationship with you continually.”
            “I love thee enough to have an ongoing dialogue with you and yet be still also to listen for your voice.”
            “I love thee enough to stop and smell your fragrant flowers, to stop and take in the beauty of your sunrises and sunsets, and to reach out and form friendships, sharing your love with them and my family.”       
            “I love thee enough to accept your Son as my Lord and Savior, loving Him also for wiping my sins away, making me new, because of His sacrifice.”
            “I love thee enough to not forsake you when I’m around others, not to forsake you in my day to day living, to not forsake you in my thoughts or words.”
            “I love thee enough to model things that are true, noble, just, pure, and lovely.”
            “I love thee enough to forgive others, because you forgave me.”
            “I love thee enough to care about what you care about, to grieve over the things you grieve over, and rejoice over the things you rejoice over.”
            “I love thee enough to let love be my greatest aim.”
            When love comes from God and we can learn to love with this same kind of love…it is “a many splendored thing.”
            If God and we could hug each other, I know we would, but until we meet Him face to face, he has given us each other.  Let’s go find someone to share His love and give them a great big, bear hug.

“I pray that you…may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness   of God.
Ephesians 3:17-19

Happy Valentines Day Everyone!

105.   delicious smell of apple pie baking
106.   road maps - to get you where you need to go - His Abiding Presence
107.   yokes - His yoke - turns wearisome into spiritual productivity and purpose - lightens the load
108.   working and sweating in the snow
109.   open windows in February
110.   simplicity
111.   fresh air blowing into a stuffy house
112.   warm sun shining down on me
113.   red hearts
114.   beating hearts
115.   REJOICING HEARTS!  Heather came off ventilator after 20 something days and was able to hold
          her husband and say "I Love You"
116.   tears of joy
117.   miracles

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Simply Saturday

Please join my new friend Jenn at
A Country Girl's Ramblings

I'm new at this technology stuff...took me awhile to figure things out but I did and here I am and here we go...I'm not a professional photographer, that's my husbands job...but I do love the simple things and to capture them in frame.  My first picture for this...

My husband picked these wildflowers out in the woods behind our place for me.
They smell like maple.
He is such a sweetie!

Friday, February 11, 2011

A Holy Romance

The Bible shows us over and over God's amazing love for us.  He woos us and romances us, do we see and hear?  Really see?  
I've followed Him for over 36 years and I daily commune with Him.  I have been on the mountain top with Him and in the valleys with Him.  I've also had dry spells.  The excitement wanes at times.  I have always had a grateful heart and have told Him many times.  But am afraid I have missed some. 
Beginning my journey of finding 1000 gifts from Him, unwrapping them slowly and offering eucharisteo, (thanksgiving),
breathing them in deeply, I begin to feel the romance once again.  I feel giddy, excited to see what's around the corner, what is in the next moment, I'm always looking.  I'm experiencing Him so and am loving it.  And how fitting this comes this time of year.  But this is not just for a day.  This will continue on from this day forward, I promise to be always be looking, I promise to always give thanksgiving in the moment, I promise to look no matter how small, and I promise to share.
I challenge you again, for I know what a blessing it would be to you..to start your own journey, your own journal, your own treasure hunt and feel the romance blossom.  It's wonderful!
I would love to know if you do this, would you please share?  You don't have to share your list, just let me know you began.  This would be a gift for my list.

96.   good news
97.   diamonds in the snow
98.  wooden floors - to sock slide on
99.   a thank-you note
100.  husband who is always willing to fix things and do for me -his way of saying " I love you"
101.  reading the Psalms to #2 son in the late of evening and sharing past stories
102.  prostrate praying
103.  goosebumps
104.  new mugs to share hot chocolate with my Mr.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Treasure Hunt

If you have been following me, you know I have just finished reading one of the most beautiful books I have ever read, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  She dares you to start a journey of keeping a journal filled with 1000 gifts, blessings, unwrapped gifts from God.  The idea is to learn Eucharisteo, thanksgiving, which I thought I had been good at.  I have thanked God everyday for my family, my home…you know, the usual things and in a way, it can become rote after awhile.  Eucharisteo takes it to a deeper level, making you become more aware of EVERYTHING around you, teaching you to live fully right where you are, and the blessing in this…you become more intimate with the Father.

This morning I opened my favorite devotional at this time…Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  This devotional speaks to me almost everyday as if the author knew me so personally.  Actually the real author does.  Here is what was spoken to me today from this little gem. . .

Seek my Face more and more.  You are just beginning your journey of intimacy with Me.  It is not an easy road, but it is a delightful and privileged way; a treasure hunt.  I am the Treasure, and Glory of My Presence glistens and shimmers along the way.  Hardships are part of the journey too.  I mete them out ever so carefully, in just the right dosage, with a tenderness you can hardly imagine.  Do not recoil from afflictions, since they are among My most favored gifts.  Trust Me and don’t be afraid, for I am your Strength and Song.

Eucharisteo…my treasure hunt continues. . .

73.  lazy, quiet dogs
74.  my Bible - worn, torn, notes in the margins, highlighted and underlined
75.  homemade bread - torn slowly and savored as I reflect on Jesus' words..."take and eat, this is my
       body." - giving thanks
76.  camera - to frame the moments
77.  floor rugs...
. . .takes me back to childhood days sitting on my grandmothers floor rugs - stringing buttons - a cherished
     time and place

( I'm the smaller one with the sewing box...my big sister in front of me)

78.  devotionals
79.  promises kept
80.  tear drawn, belly laughs
81.  little, bare legs
82.  little, bare toes
83.  the quiet of midnight - not too often heard
84.  beautiful, surprising sights - this early morning as I opened the front door to let our dog Sadie in, I 
       looked across the road to witness deer leaping across the empty, snowy field - breathtaking!
85.  bowed heads
86.  l. van Beethoven's Sonate Pathetique Op. 13
87.  husband and wife together on bended knee by bedside talking with the Father - Psalm 95:6
88.  #2 son hugging me longer than usual because he knew I needed it
89.  seeing the outline of the state of Kentucky on my new pottery cup - remembering the ways that God
       told us this is where we were to go
90.  answers to questions
91.  trusting faith when the answers don't come
92.  souls that share from within
93.  witnessing strength of a warrior
94.  rest - in the shadow of the Almighty
95.  redemption

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


(written in 2009)
This journey of mine to the pond was a major part of a healing process.
            I’ve always been a city girl with a country heart.  My grandparents ran a 160 acre farm where I spent many childhood days building impressionable memories. That is where I realized I had country in my blood. I never had the opportunity to live in the country though, until Keith, our two boys and I moved to Kentucky in 2004. Now I was living in my element.
            I believe God lured me to the pond to get me even more out in the country where my soul felt free to breathe deeply, to cry hard, to share out loud with Him and for healing to take place far from distractions.
            I smile as I think how He healed me before my prodigal returned.  I believe one, to show that He provides my identity, purpose, and significance, not anyone else.  Two, so I could give all the glory to Him, so no one could say I was healed because of the prodigal’s return. And three, I had to be healed from painful, negative feelings, so when my prodigal did return, I could welcome him back freely with open arms.
            God also helped me to leave something behind. Something that tortured this mothers inner being.  A word that Satan, the deceiver had been hissing in my ear ever since my son left; my Eagle Scout son, piano award winning son, sweet, sensitive, loving to everyone son, straight A student, four year scholarship earned son, my son who had long talks and read the Bible with me, my son I loved and do love with every fiber of my being, the son who walked out our door to not be seen again for who knows how long; what was that word that the enemy had been torturing me with. . .failure.  It felt like it was stamped on my forehead for everyone to see.  But God opened my eyes to the truth and held up a mirror of sorts for me to see who I really was.  I was a redeemed child of His, a loving mother who was filled with all He gives to us as mothers, and with His help, I did the best I could.  The rest had to be in my son’s hands.  The Lord let me know that He would strengthen me and He did. 
“The Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.”
Second Thessalonians 3:3
            The word spat at me for so long is now gone, down deep in the waters with all of the skipped stones that were thrown in.
Yes, God knows what He is doing. When we are in a pit suffering despair because of a situation, we want answers and solutions right now, but sometimes He chooses to give those in a process.  If they came too quickly, the lessons He wants us to learn may not have the impact He intends.  When we go through a process, we are more likely to learn and remember those lessons.
            Remember, God loves us and wants the best for us.  He also can see the big picture where we cannot.  We have to trust Him, while living obediently for Him.
            At the pond, I cried for my son.  At the pond I prayed for my son.  At the pond I prayed for myself, Keith and our younger son.  At the pond, I became closer to my Savior.  At the pond began a reunion with my son.  How fitting!
            I leave the pond for now but I’ll be back, not so much because I need to now but because I want to.  It’s a special place for me just like my grandparents farm was.
            I don’t leave alone though.  God will always be with me wherever I am because he said…
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:5
(2011 – I’m so grateful for God’s promises.  They can change us but they never change as circumstances can. . .and they did change once again.  This story continues. . .

61.  raindrops clinging to the eaves...waiting to drop
62.  spectacles - that allow me to see words
63.  rocking chairs - they're comforting
64.  open hands - to let go; to offer all
65.  freeing raised hands - to praise and worship my Lord
66.  lit candles
67.  new perspectives
68.  a brand new friend
69.  rearview mirrors - seeing how God was working behind the scenes
70.  mounds of laundry - you may ask why? - because it means I have loved ones around me to produce this laundry
71.steam - rising from pots on my stove
72.  tissues - for tears 

Monday, February 7, 2011

Hearing In The Quietness of Snow

Today as I watch the snow coming down, I go into my pondering mode.  When the wind blows, you can hear it.  When the rain comes down, you can hear it hitting the ground, splashing on the cars, etc.  But no matter how hard and fast the snow comes, it falls…..soooooo……..quietly. Sshhh...no sound.  When I step outside into the falling snow, it is so peaceful, so quiet. Sshhh. Whatever was racing inside my head suddenly comes to a stand still.  I can hear Him saying, “Be still and know that I am God.”  Yes Lord, I am here in Your Presence.  The pure, driven snow seems to wash away my “to do” list and I hear once again…..My Son’s blood washed away your sins and you are as pure and white as this snow.”  I whisper quietly…thank you Lord!  The “to do” list seems so unimportant in this moment. Sshhh.

I think of the pond out there in the woods, my little sanctuary.  It must be frozen by now.  But my heart is warm; it’s healed.  There will be more circumstances tomorrow but I will remember the snow and I will stop and listen.  And God will guide me.  I will feel loved. And my heart will be at rest.

Quietness. . . . .do you hear it?  Do you hear Him?  What is he speaking ever so quietly to you?

36.   journals
37.   back rubs
38.   warm, gooey, chocolate chip cookies
39.  a cold glass of milk
40.  hot water
41.  pressing the piano keys and hearing music
42.  the dining room table with the whole family around it
43.  christmas card I rec'd today - today's date:  February 7 :)
44.  bars of soap that bubble big
45.  Podiums (Keith's and my first speaking engagement and I prayed for podium...it was there.
46.  Cottage Chapel
47.  red cardinal and blue bird on my deck
48.  personalized words on screen to me from precious people
49.  stillness
50.  colors
51.  footie pajamas for grown-ups
52.  glow in the dark stars
53.  breathing
54.  blankets- with God being so much more than just a throw on the bed or sofa
55.  Quilt made from scraps of old cloth given to me by an Aunt years ago along with other scraps from
       quilts and pillows made from loved ones.
56.  musty smell from the old hutch of my grandmothers day, it makes me smile
57. aprons - faded cotton, handmade by my grandmother with a kleenex in the pocket, because that is how
      she always carried one
58. seeing beauty in the ugly
59. seeing my younger son kneel at the alter
60. folding warm towels

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Prodigal Returned

May 28, 2009…the prodigal son returned for the 2nd time.  This time my sweet son seemed like my old sweet son again; more calm and relaxed than I had seen in a long time.  What joy I felt! 
He brought his friend and roommate with him; maybe as a security blanket, maybe not.  He didn’t need one.  My husband, younger son and I were so happy to see him.  God is so good!  I prayed when I saw my son again, there would be no anger on my part; there wasn’t; just love and compassion.
Job described God as a “watcher of men”.  Keith and I prayed every night for Him to watch over Tim.  He did and protected him from the evils of this world.
Out son just got lost in his youth; in his new found freedom.  Even though our son had been trained and taught for 18 years, he wasn’t ready for the freedom all at once but took it anyway.  He became entangled in frivolous pursuits, finding out that life is a lot different away from home; that life is harder than one expected.  He learned to take care of himself though.  He learned to get by.  He never once asked for help, for this I am proud of him.
I believe everything he went through helped him to grow up and become more of a man.  He has learned lessons that sometimes just have to be experienced.  You can teach them and love them, but sometimes they just have to go through an experience to learn the lesson.
God was with him just as He promised.  He promises the believer, I will never leave you or forsake you.  He may seem still and quiet at times, letting you make your choices, but He is always there.  Psalm 121:3 says, “He who watches over you will not slumber.”
I am so thankful to have a God who watches over my loved one when I cannot (Job 7:20).  I’m so thankful for a God who continues to faithfully love us when we are unlovable.  I’m so thankful for a God who forgives (1 John 1:9). I’m so thankful for a God who cares and is compassionate (James 5:11, Ps. 145:8), who fights for us (Exodus 14:14), who will pass through the waters with us (Isaiah 43:2), that He shows unfailing kindness( Psalm 18:50),  a God whose words are trustworthy (11 Samuel 7:28), He is faithful to all His promises (PS. 145:13); that I have a God who is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Heb. 13:8), a God who will wipe away every tear (Rev. 21:4), whose right hand sustains me (Psalm 18:35), a God who will strengthen and help me and uphold me with His righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).  My God is my Rock and Redeemer (Psalm 19: 14), He restores my soul (Psalm 23:3); He gave His son as a ransom to set us free (Hebrews 9:15).  He is a God who raised His son from the dead (Acts 2:24) to give victory over death (1 Cor. 15:54), who can lift me out of a slimy pit (Psalm 40:2); whose perfect love can drive out fear(1 John 4:18); a God who can give a peace that passes all understanding ( Phillipians 4:7), who loves with an everlasting love(  Jeremiah 31:3),  a God who will light my path( Psalm 119:105); will lead me in a straight path (Psalm 27:11); for a God whose judgments are true and just (Rev. 19:2), a God who heals the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3), who guides me always (Isaiah 58:11), who will guide me into all truth (Jn. 16:13), a God whose grace is sufficient for me (11 Cor. 12:9).  My God is faithful in all He does (Psalm 33:4); who teaches me to be content whatever the circumstances (Phil. 4:11).  He is a God who daily bears our burdens ( Psalm 68:19), and a God who will give me rest when I am weary (Matt. 11:29).
I’m so glad His love is based on His character and not on my performance.
My son knows this God.  He asked His son, Jesus into his heart when he was a little boy.  He still knows Him, but still has a lot to learn; just like me.  My son told me there is so much out there in the world to learn and he wants to learn it all.  I pray he and his friend will learn more about our awesome God as they grow in years and maturity. I pray for my son, who already has had a conversion experience, to learn to totally surrender his life to the Lord.  I pray he will learn to stay on the narrow path, to turn to His Maker through prayer and the sweet words of the Good Book; to remember that grace ripples are much nicer to live with than the ripple effect of sin; that the Rock is the only one to stand on, because of this, he can experience that peace that passes all understanding, to have no fear, to learn to follow the voice of God as the animals being led to the ark did, that he would learn of God’s character traits and call on them as he needs them for himself and for others, to take comfort in the shepherd’s staff, to never hide anything but the Word in his heart, to surround himself with friends who are like minded and to sow spiritual seeds where there is opportunity to do so, to stand for the truth no matter what, for his roots to grow strong and deep, to know wounds can be healed, to have boldness to share testimonies, to experience rest over burdens, to rest in the Almighty’s shadow, to not be deceived because he knows Truth so well, to learn to praise with open heart and hands the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and to never doubt that when he leaves this earth, he will be going to his real home to meet his Heavenly Father face to face and what a glorious, joyous occasion that will be!
It is good for us to remember that we believers have all been prodigals at one time or another.  If we do not deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow Jesus daily, we can drift away from our Heavenly Father, be it one day, one week, one month, a year, or even just an hour.
I pray not only for my son, but for myself as well, that nothing would become larger than my relationship with Christ.  After all, the most wonderful family to belong to is the one with God as the Father, who is always willing to welcome us back.
My son and his friend all ready know about quiet places.  They asked to go to the pond.  They felt the breeze and sensed the peacefulness.
May they never forget when life gets loud and crazy to find their quiet spot and reflect not on how big the storms are in life, but how big our God is. I pray they learn to tell their storms their God is bigger still.  And may they never feel homeless again, knowing there is a Father always looking for them, standing with arms opened wide, spirit filled with compassion, and a heart full of love for them.  Around His neck could be a sign that reads, “Home Sweet Home”.  I pray they enter that door and never leave.

His (mother) saw him and was filled with compassion for him; (she) ran to (her) son, threw (her) arms around him and kissed him.
            Luke 15:20

31.  a sanctuary of my own at the pond
32.  the treasures in the Word that sustain me
33.  friends that wouldn't let go
34.  holy whispers in my soul
35.  unconditional love