Why a blog from me, someone who has never been a writer, someone who has never been articulate or had a solid grasp of the grammar world. Because God told me to write. Several years ago a life storm invaded my family. God kept telling me to write it all down. I argued, but He would not let up. This went on every day for a couple of weeks until one day out of frustration, (I'd like to say it was out of obedience), I picked up a pen and paper and wrote for 7 hours straight! Do you think maybe I needed therapy and God knew it?

I've been writing ever since and have learned to love it! I started out sharing my stories with friends and family. I've now been published in a Nashville church paper, Our Daily Journey (a devotional site of RBC Ministries), PCCWeb Daily Devotional, Ruby for Women Ezine Magazine, and I am a contributor in the book Alabaster Jars, Life in Abundance Collection 2.

Why Ponderings? During this life storm, God led me to a pond in the woods behind my home. There He met me each time, teaching new lessons, reminding me of old ones, showing His presence and allowing me to feel His love through the surroundings of that pond. I found myself returning over and over to ponder, pray and praise. A healing of my heart took place and out of the experience came my first book, Ponderings From the Pond, then a second book, Ponderings From My Porch, and now a third book is in the works along with a memoir about my storm.

Why am I making myself so vulnerable? Because God has done so much that I cannot keep quiet. I have to share. Jesus's last words to his desciples were, "Go,tell." We are his disciples too and this is just one of my ways of telling.

I'm no scholar but I have heard God's voice in my spirit, experience His love daily, and have a desire for others to experience this also. I would love to share with all who visit and I would love to hear from you. If my sharing gets just one to ponder, to be quiet with the Father, to see and hear from Him or to be reminded of something from Him, then this is worth my vulnerability.

As you visit me, sometimes we will be at the pond, sometimes we will move to the front porch, and sometimes we will just be here, there, and yonder. Thank you for coming and please feel free to come back anytime, you are always welcome here.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14


My first book, Ya Know What I'm Say'n, has been released.



Saturday, March 5, 2016

Two Resurrections

Resurrection. . .don't rush through that word. Say it slowly and listen as it reverberates off the tongue. Resurrection. . .such a beautiful sound, such a beautiful word, and the meaning behind it; to bring to life something that was dead.

A relationship in my life was dead for nine years. From the time I was the age of fourteen to twenty-three, I did not see or talk with my mother. She suffered with severe depression. In this state of mental illness, she would fly into rages without warning. My brother, nine years older was gone. My sister, five years older was gone. I was the only one left to witnesse the depression, the rages, not understanding what was wrong with her. There were days she would just stare at me with her large eyes, me always wondering what was going on in her head. There were days I would come home from school, and she would meet me in the living room, raging over nothing, and shredding the clothes off my body with her bare hands. In the end, I was scared of her. I would go to bed not wanting to close my eyes. I was fearful, of what, I wasn't sure. I was taken away to live with my grandmother. No one explained. I thought my mother didn't love me. And so, I wouldn't love her either. In my young, innocent, na├»ve mind, I told myself I wanted her to be happy, but I didn't need her in my life. And so she wasn't for the next nine years.

I went on to high school and lived my life. I grew, I graduated, and then married. I had learned to go on with my life without her, not giving her any thought. Then one night as I was dusting my dresser in my newlywed apartment, I heard God clearly speak in my soul, "It is time to call your mother." After nine years of not thinking of her, God led me immediately to my phone and I called her. How I knew her phone number, I still do not know to this day. But I called. She lived a mile from my apartment. I went. A resurrection took place. She greeted me, we hugged, we talked and we sat at her piano for hours and hours playing and singing praise songs, at times crying grateful tears, praising our Heavenly Father for all He had done. . .Resurrecting His Son Jesus after sending Him to die for our sins, to pay the penalty for OUR sins, so we could come into a relationship with a Holy God, to have a heavenly home to go to when we are called. Resurrecting our own relationship to a beautiful reunion, forgiveness not even mentioned because we knew it had been given. My mother had been healed. I had grown up. And after nine years, God spoke and said it was time. That was in 1985.

After enjoying our new relationship for a couple of years, my husband received a job that took us from our Oklahoma home to Arkansas for the next four years. Then from there we moved back to Oklahoma but to another city. After thirteen years, we moved to Kentucky. My mother and I had never lived in the same city after I left for Arkansas, but we had many, many visits, phone calls and e-mails over the years. She became a wonderful, loving grandmother to all her grandchildren, and then great grandchildren. As I became older and more mature, I realized all my mother had gone through and began to understand how strong this weak perceived woman really was. When she totally surrendered to the Lord, she began to rise, being a blessing to all who met her. I found myself proud of this woman who I call my mom. With the Lord, she had overcome what the enemy had meant for harm. With the Lord, victory had been won.

My mother is now 84 years old. My brother and sister who lived in the same city as she, had done a wonderful job of helping her. They had done so for many years, but it became more and more of a job and with both of them working full time jobs, it was time for me, a stay at home wife, to take over. But it took three years for my mom to be ready to leave her Oklahoma home behind. In July of last year, she became ready, and my brother and sister brought her to my Kentucky home to live with me, my husband and younger son.

We call mom the Queen, I am her princess, and together, we worship the King of Kings and Lord of Lords!

There has been more than one resurrection in my life.
Both have been life saving.
Both have been filled with grace.
Both have been filled with lessons learned.
Both filled with love.
And one because of the other.
Such a beautiful word!
Only from God!