Why a blog from me, someone who has never been a writer, someone who has never been articulate or had a solid grasp of the grammar world. Because God told me to write. Several years ago a life storm invaded my family. God kept telling me to write it all down. I argued, but He would not let up. This went on every day for a couple of weeks until one day out of frustration, (I'd like to say it was out of obedience), I picked up a pen and paper and wrote for 7 hours straight! Do you think maybe I needed therapy and God knew it?

I've been writing ever since and have learned to love it! I started out sharing my stories with friends and family. I've now been published in a Nashville church paper, Our Daily Journey (a devotional site of RBC Ministries), PCCWeb Daily Devotional, Ruby for Women Ezine Magazine, and I am a contributor in the book Alabaster Jars, Life in Abundance Collection 2.

Why Ponderings? During this life storm, God led me to a pond in the woods behind my home. There He met me each time, teaching new lessons, reminding me of old ones, showing His presence and allowing me to feel His love through the surroundings of that pond. I found myself returning over and over to ponder, pray and praise. A healing of my heart took place and out of the experience came my first book, Ponderings From the Pond, then a second book, Ponderings From My Porch, and now a third book is in the works along with a memoir about my storm.

Why am I making myself so vulnerable? Because God has done so much that I cannot keep quiet. I have to share. Jesus's last words to his desciples were, "Go,tell." We are his disciples too and this is just one of my ways of telling.

I'm no scholar but I have heard God's voice in my spirit, experience His love daily, and have a desire for others to experience this also. I would love to share with all who visit and I would love to hear from you. If my sharing gets just one to ponder, to be quiet with the Father, to see and hear from Him or to be reminded of something from Him, then this is worth my vulnerability.

As you visit me, sometimes we will be at the pond, sometimes we will move to the front porch, and sometimes we will just be here, there, and yonder. Thank you for coming and please feel free to come back anytime, you are always welcome here.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14


My first book, Ya Know What I'm Say'n, has been released.



Friday, August 2, 2013

You Did Such A Great Job

I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say." -- Flannery O'Connor
When I first read this quote I thought it was funny, but then I pondered. . .hhmmm. . . there is some truth to that.

I wanted the best for my son. . .don't all we mothers want that?

I loved him, played with him, taught him SO many things. I wanted him to have a strong foundation, strong in the Lord, so that when he didn't need me anymore, when he was out in the cold world, he could stand strong and not be blown this way and that.

I cradled him.
I cared for him.
I sang lullabyes and children's songs to him.
I taught him reading, writing, and arithmetic.
I taught him the piano,
I taught him manners.
I taught him about praying.
I taught him about the Lord.
I tried to be a good example.
We laughed.
We cried.
We played.
We talked.
We dreamed.

And then he was gone. Out the door into the dark. He's not back yet. Twenty-five years old and he is gone.

I hear and read where mothers get that wonderful acclamation of 'You did such a great job!' regarding their child rearing. I thought I had done such a good job with him. It didn't seem like a job though. It felt like a privilege to be his mother. I thanked God every day for him and just wanted to do the best I could and enjoy this precious one.  I did...on both counts. But I don't hear those words.

I had come to realized that I had to lay down expectations. I had to lay down my son into the Lord's hands. I had to give him back to the One who gave him to me. I give him back Lord. I did the best I could. I pray that you will allow me the privilege once again to enjoy my son. I will wait for Your timing.

I should not need to hear certain words from others, although I've been blessed with a wonderful husband who has blessed me with words. Oh yes, and my mother. . .bless he heart, she blesses me with her words also. Some days that is enough and some days it is not. That is when I go to my Lord who knows what I've done. He saw into the windows of our home, into our lives, into my heart.

This sounds so vain. I do not mean for it to. And this has nothing to do with pride. When you love someone SO much and you've put your all into them and they leave and hurt stabs the heart. . . .sometimes this body of flesh just needs to  hear, and to bleed.

And then my eyes fall onto my other son. He is still here, living faithfully, living with imperfect me, kidding and joking and loving with me. He walks up behind me and lifts me up off the floor and hugs me. I say, "I love you" and I hear back, "Love you too mom". Soothing balm to a heart that still hurts.
And with my eyes closed as my #2 son hugs me and I picture my other precious one in my mind and all the hugs I had received from him in another life time, I hear those words from the One who gives me breath. . ."You did such a great job!"

Aahhh, the gift of love, encouragement, healing, and promises.

 I am so thankful to be sandwiched in between His hope and His promises. I love and miss my sweet one very much but I know God has His eye is on my blue-eyed sparrow and I know He watches over him.

(to the readers. . .I ask for no comments on this post as I am not looking for words of affirmations or encouragements. I have received them from my Lord and I want that to be all I need. As you bloggers know, sometimes we just need to write it out. But you can let me know you were here by leaving me a heart or a smile. I would love to know who came by to visit. If it won't take, you can leave it on my facebook page. Thank you)

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