Why a blog from me, someone who has never been a writer, someone who has never been articulate or had a solid grasp of the grammar world. Because God told me to write. Several years ago a life storm invaded my family. God kept telling me to write it all down. I argued, but He would not let up. This went on every day for a couple of weeks until one day out of frustration, (I'd like to say it was out of obedience), I picked up a pen and paper and wrote for 7 hours straight! Do you think maybe I needed therapy and God knew it?

I've been writing ever since and have learned to love it! I started out sharing my stories with friends and family. I've now been published in a Nashville church paper, Our Daily Journey (a devotional site of RBC Ministries), PCCWeb Daily Devotional, Ruby for Women Ezine Magazine, and I am a contributor in the book Alabaster Jars, Life in Abundance Collection 2.

Why Ponderings? During this life storm, God led me to a pond in the woods behind my home. There He met me each time, teaching new lessons, reminding me of old ones, showing His presence and allowing me to feel His love through the surroundings of that pond. I found myself returning over and over to ponder, pray and praise. A healing of my heart took place and out of the experience came my first book, Ponderings From the Pond, then a second book, Ponderings From My Porch, and now a third book is in the works along with a memoir about my storm.

Why am I making myself so vulnerable? Because God has done so much that I cannot keep quiet. I have to share. Jesus's last words to his desciples were, "Go,tell." We are his disciples too and this is just one of my ways of telling.

I'm no scholar but I have heard God's voice in my spirit, experience His love daily, and have a desire for others to experience this also. I would love to share with all who visit and I would love to hear from you. If my sharing gets just one to ponder, to be quiet with the Father, to see and hear from Him or to be reminded of something from Him, then this is worth my vulnerability.

As you visit me, sometimes we will be at the pond, sometimes we will move to the front porch, and sometimes we will just be here, there, and yonder. Thank you for coming and please feel free to come back anytime, you are always welcome here.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14


My first book, Ya Know What I'm Say'n, has been released.



Sunday, August 26, 2012

Water, Rivers and Fire. . .Maybe a Daisy or Two

Losing our friend Greg has done a number on my husband and myself.  The memories just roll over and over and over in our minds.  The good memories of wonderful conversations in the park, sitting with him in church, cheering after he arose from the baptismal waters, the lunches out together at McDonalds, the lasagne dinner in his apartment with friends.  And then the extremely sad memories of watching him struggle and battle through the addictions and the despair of a lost daughter and his fighting between good and evil.  Keith and I had never seen that kind of struggle before.  It's not pretty.  It's heartbreaking!  Would we do it again. You bet! 

Some of the best things in life, the biggest blessings do not come easy.  Sometimes you have to walk through the muck and mire to get over to the other side to experience a beauty that otherwise you would never experience.  I'm reminded of the scripture Isaiah 43:2. . ."When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."

When we walked through this journey, God was with us.  Keith and I knew how to hold on to God and not let go.  Greg was brand new at this faith thing and had so much to learn.  He had not experienced this kind of love and grace and mercy in his life until this past year.  He stepped out in faith to ask Jesus into his heart and he knew where he would spend eternity.  But he struggled to hold onto faith in this world full of sin, addictions, and wordly things slamming into his life.  Keith and I tried to teach him and love him through it all.  Greg thought he was not worthy.  We told him he was.  He was a child of God and so very worthy.  The devil kept screaming into Greg's head and he was trying to hear from God and we could literally see the battle.  Greg succumbed to his old ways of finding comfort in a bottle, but the thing is, it didn't comfort, it just dragged him down deeper and deeper into despair.  In that despair, he broke more and more over his daughter being gone.  Keith and I believe that not only did his body give out, but his heart could not take the agony of despair anymore.

I use to tell Greg the verse that helped me when I was in despair over my son leaving was Isaiah 41:10. . ."do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  I used to visualize me holding up my hand to take HIS right hand.  I told Greg one time to do that when he felt bad.  I don't know if he ever did or not.  But I know on August 20, 2012, his last night on earth, Greg did take the hand and was led into the kingdom of God. 

Greg didn't have time to learn to walk through the fire and waters with God.  How long does it take us to learn that?  I can tell you, it took me awhile.  But through all of this, Keith and I feel blessed to have walked this last year with Greg.  And Greg told us many times how blessed he felt to have real friends who loved him uncondionally and accepted him, warts and all.  And Greg is fully blessed now, that he is in the presence of the Lord.

Keith and I will learn from this experience and we will hold dear the memories of Greg.  He will always be in our heart and as Greg strolls through heaven with God, we will remain here in our faith and move on, whether that be through the water, rivers, or fire. 

We sure wouldn't mind though, if just once in awhile, to have a field of daisies instead ;)

linking with



Ro Elliott said...

thanks for sharing here...I have seen joy and sadness can take our hands and walk us through these deep waters...prayers to you all...and may the God of all comfort be ever so near.

Anonymous said...

Your field of daisies IS always with you...In Christ...and in each other!!! ♥♥♥

Grandma Becky said...

Prayers as you both go thru the loss of Greg but thankful for the memories and faith in God. Life is a struggle. Thanks for caring! Hugs!

Meredith said...

How heartbreaking. . .But he is TRULY HEALED now, amen.
I absolutely love those verses in Isaiah -- they are so comforting.

Thank you for sharing your friends story.

caryjo said...

After my first comment, now my heart is heavy sighing. Again. So much of what you described re: addiction is what my whole family has been involved in for generations. Every addiction you can imagine. Including a couple of mine before the Lord broke into my life 46 years ago. My dad died in May, '84, but had come to the Lord in Spring, '79... but he was not ever truly able to leave alcohol behind. He tried. Like Greg. But he couldn't. After 50 years of alcoholism, my mother came to the Lord at 80 and she died last year at 90. Some sisters have come to the Lord and left their addictions; 2 have not. So much of what you describe is so much of what I lived through. I think you and I need to spend to time together. We sure have a lot in common in sharing and in life, in general. I was blessed. And, yes, the seed WAS planted and came to blossom. And he's one happy guy in heaven!!! When you go there, he'll be waiting for you to throw his arms around you with thanks and a rejoicing spirit.

A Joyful Noise said...

That is so sad that you lost your friend Greg, but he did receive Jesus and that is the good thing. New Babes in Christ often need to learn how to walk, and they fall and stumple, but they are still the child of the Lord. Thank you for sharing this beautiful and sad, but still happy story at Tell me a True Story. (Try number 4 to pass your captcha.)

Denise said...

Saying prayers for you.

Positively Alene said...

My heart is sad with yours. Still waiting to hear from or about my friend. Praying God sustains him. Grieving the loss of one who no one knew. Thanks for all you do sweet friend. God is so amazing that He'd have us loving on the most loving that are overlooked. Love ya sis!