Why a blog from me, someone who has never been a writer, someone who has never been articulate or had a solid grasp of the grammar world. Because God told me to write. Several years ago a life storm invaded my family. God kept telling me to write it all down. I argued, but He would not let up. This went on every day for a couple of weeks until one day out of frustration, (I'd like to say it was out of obedience), I picked up a pen and paper and wrote for 7 hours straight! Do you think maybe I needed therapy and God knew it?

I've been writing ever since and have learned to love it! I started out sharing my stories with friends and family. I've now been published in a Nashville church paper, Our Daily Journey (a devotional site of RBC Ministries), PCCWeb Daily Devotional, Ruby for Women Ezine Magazine, and I am a contributor in the book Alabaster Jars, Life in Abundance Collection 2.

Why Ponderings? During this life storm, God led me to a pond in the woods behind my home. There He met me each time, teaching new lessons, reminding me of old ones, showing His presence and allowing me to feel His love through the surroundings of that pond. I found myself returning over and over to ponder, pray and praise. A healing of my heart took place and out of the experience came my first book, Ponderings From the Pond, then a second book, Ponderings From My Porch, and now a third book is in the works along with a memoir about my storm.

Why am I making myself so vulnerable? Because God has done so much that I cannot keep quiet. I have to share. Jesus's last words to his desciples were, "Go,tell." We are his disciples too and this is just one of my ways of telling.

I'm no scholar but I have heard God's voice in my spirit, experience His love daily, and have a desire for others to experience this also. I would love to share with all who visit and I would love to hear from you. If my sharing gets just one to ponder, to be quiet with the Father, to see and hear from Him or to be reminded of something from Him, then this is worth my vulnerability.

As you visit me, sometimes we will be at the pond, sometimes we will move to the front porch, and sometimes we will just be here, there, and yonder. Thank you for coming and please feel free to come back anytime, you are always welcome here.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14


My first book, Ya Know What I'm Say'n, has been released.



Monday, April 30, 2012

Bloopers & Blunders


My life can get so serious and it's time to lighten up.  I didn't have to look far, not even past my nose, to find something (hopefully, humorous.) 

Why does lingo have to change?  It’s confusing to my little brain.  It puts me in awkward predicaments.  I risk embarrassing my teen-ager, not to mention myself.  Actually, my sweet son does not get embarrassed anymore. He used to. . .

and then he started to grow up and still I blundered. . .

now that he's older, he just laughs at me

I provide him with much laughter.  I think I make him feel grown up because I give him reasons many times to correct me.

This is not a good problem to have when you decide to write and put it out there for the whole world to see.  I’ll give you an example so you can laugh at me too J . . .I was writing a story and used the word incestuous when what I meant to use was the word incessant. There is just a tad bit of difference in the meanings of these two words. . .oops!

Would you like another example of one of my blunders?  I thought you might.  One time I wrote about being prostrate on the ground in prayer but I wrote the word prostate instead. 

This one cracked up my teen-age niece. . .When I was growing up, what we now call flip-flops, was called something else.  A few years ago, my sister, niece and I were in the car together and it was hot.  I said I couldn’t wait to get home and put on my thongs.  My niece gasped in the back seat saying,

 “Aunt Kristy, you wear those!?”  I replied, “What’s the problem, everyone wears them, you wear them.”  My sister says through her laughter, “We now call those flip flops” and turned to explain to her daughter that when we were young, people called those thongs.  An innocent mistake.

I made another innocent mistake at my mothers one day, way back when I was much younger and just newly married.  Keith and I were both experiencing achy muscles, so we bought an electric massager, the kind that massages deep into the muscles taking the soreness away.  One day, while in my mother’s kitchen, I was trying to tell her about this new contraption of ours thinking she might like one as she was always complaining of a bad, sore back.  I was explaining how wonderful this vibrator was and it felt so good and she should really try it.  I got that surprised, almost horrified look from my mother,

kind of like the one I got from my niece, and then my mother says through her hysterical laughter,

“Kristy, call it a massager, not a vibrator.”  Not until she said it, did I realize how the conversation was sounding. . .oops!

Our conversations are to be seasoned with salt. I think my conversations are ok but my vocabulary needs some work, or maybe I need an English lesson, or maybe I just need a fiesta. . .or should that be siesta?  What am I thinking, trying to now go into another language?  I better just stick with my own and learn it better.

But again, it can be so confusing.  When I was young for instance, if you were happy, you were gay.  Today you better be blissful, elated, or even tickled pink.  The last thing I want to do is upset someone, and so I can become anxious as I write, praying that I don’t offend anyone.

I’m wondering if this problem is a middle age problem.  I am officially middle aged now of last week. Or maybe I just need to go back to school.  What class would I sign up for? 

Foot in Mouth 101
Learning How to Talk for the 40-50 Somethings
How Not to Be a Blooper and Blunderer

That middle one would not work because I was doing this in my twenties and thirties too.

Oh well!  If I give people laughter, even at my expense, so be it.  Laughter is good for the bones, and for the soul.  So if I write or say something funny, strange, or just plain wrong, feel free to correct me.  I could always use a good lesson and laugh.  In the mean time, I’ll be working on my vocab.

*Note. . .all stories in this post are true and mine, pictures are not*

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Deidra said...

You certainly made me laugh here. Thanks - it was much needed!

marlece said...

I laughed out loud about the 'vibrator' and your Mom being the one to have you change your wording, hahaha, and yes, we do get ourselves into trouble over sayings or words that that don't fit our today. But there are some words out there today that make me blush that don't mean what I'm a thinkin'!

Cora from Hidden Riches said...

I'm just shaking my head!!! This is just too funny! If you think you are having trouble at middle age, just wait until you are in your 60's and hanging out with street-wise 30 somethings! Half the time, I have to think of about 3 possible meanings to their sentences, two of which take me to places that are NOT good! It's amazing how language and spelling evolves. Come to think of it, I might have called it a vibrator, too!!!! Oopps!

Recovering Church Lady said...

Kristen, you are hilarious! Whenever i read your blog I feel like we could be friends if we met in the "real world". I love this blogworld, don't you?

A Joyful Noise said...

It is great when we can laugh at ourselves. I am with you as far as God telling me (and you) to write. So we do just that.

ells said...

Oh my...i know this well. I have come to grips that some of us are here to bring others laughter...I used to be embarrassed ...but now i embrace it. My daughter has this gift too...I am helping her be ok with our mis-steps...I want her to be free....
Ok...I will tell you one of mine...you are not alone...we were all standing on a back porch looking out at a field of cows...I asked...why is there that "one utter" cow...I think at first people where too shocked to answer or laugh...my sweet husband leaned over...ro, that is a bull. when I laughed it freed everyone else to laugh...and I have never lived that one down.
wow...i forgot we wore thongs back then...will have to pull that out and use it to embarrass my kids:)
thanks for the laughter and knowing someone else in this special sisterhood:)

Divinely Acquitted said...

What a great way to start my Tuesday morning! With laughter! Thank you for sharing your blunders... we all have a great share of them every once in a while, or more often than we want to. lol! But it's great how you can laugh at your own mistakes, that's a great gift! Thanks for sharing! God bless...

Janice C Johnson said...

Totally with you.... my younger son just shakes his head and says, "Old-people expressions-- sheesh!"
Visiting from SDG!

Denise said...

Thanks for making me laugh.

Thoughts for the day said...

HYSTERICAL... now that is way funny. Thanks for the middle of an afternoon laugh.

Reformed rebel said...

Too funny Kristen!
Thanks for the laughter tonight.

Jennie Morgan said...

OH MY GOODNESS this made me laugh OUT LOUD!!!
thanks for the giggles!!

Love you!

Shari said...

Thank you so much for stopping by today. Oh I loved your post! It made me laugh out loud!

Phạm Minh Tâm said...

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Jenifer said...

Kris, you are too funny! Love it!

Vicky said...

I am so glad I am not alone in my bloopers :) i have used the word thongs myself referring to flip-flops and gotten that horrified look too! So funny and you are just precious!!