Why a blog from me, someone who has never been a writer, someone who has never been articulate or had a solid grasp of the grammar world. Because God told me to write. Several years ago a life storm invaded my family. God kept telling me to write it all down. I argued, but He would not let up. This went on every day for a couple of weeks until one day out of frustration, (I'd like to say it was out of obedience), I picked up a pen and paper and wrote for 7 hours straight! Do you think maybe I needed therapy and God knew it?

I've been writing ever since and have learned to love it! I started out sharing my stories with friends and family. I've now been published in a Nashville church paper, Our Daily Journey (a devotional site of RBC Ministries), PCCWeb Daily Devotional, Ruby for Women Ezine Magazine, and I am a contributor in the book Alabaster Jars, Life in Abundance Collection 2.

Why Ponderings? During this life storm, God led me to a pond in the woods behind my home. There He met me each time, teaching new lessons, reminding me of old ones, showing His presence and allowing me to feel His love through the surroundings of that pond. I found myself returning over and over to ponder, pray and praise. A healing of my heart took place and out of the experience came my first book, Ponderings From the Pond, then a second book, Ponderings From My Porch, and now a third book is in the works along with a memoir about my storm.

Why am I making myself so vulnerable? Because God has done so much that I cannot keep quiet. I have to share. Jesus's last words to his desciples were, "Go,tell." We are his disciples too and this is just one of my ways of telling.

I'm no scholar but I have heard God's voice in my spirit, experience His love daily, and have a desire for others to experience this also. I would love to share with all who visit and I would love to hear from you. If my sharing gets just one to ponder, to be quiet with the Father, to see and hear from Him or to be reminded of something from Him, then this is worth my vulnerability.

As you visit me, sometimes we will be at the pond, sometimes we will move to the front porch, and sometimes we will just be here, there, and yonder. Thank you for coming and please feel free to come back anytime, you are always welcome here.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14


My first book, Ya Know What I'm Say'n, has been released.



Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Circle of Life

I was saddened the other day.
I had been sitting on my front porch for over a week witnessing a momma and daddy robin feeding and taking care of their babies in a nest they built in the plum tree right in front of my porch.  I watched momma sit on the nest, the daddy always bringing worms.  Then one day I finally saw the babies.  Well…I saw only their beaks at first, wide open ready to take in their meal. 
Then it wasn’t long until I could see their downy heads.  I heard them squawking every day.  For some reason this just made me smile, it was a treat for me to watch. 

Then one morning I went out to discover a dead bird in my garden right underneath the plum tree.  I don’t know if a cat had crawled up there and got it or what.  Then I noticed I couldn’t see the babies anymore, I heard nothing from the nest.  It had become quiet.  My heart sank.  I also noticed an ant trail crawling up the trunk of the tree.  Was it a cat, ants?  I don’t know, but this robin family is no more.

When you live out in the country, you see the circle of life more than if you were in the city. We don’t like to think of it, but it happens.  It’s natural.  Dogs out here have killed cats.  They have killed mice out in the fields.  A pet rabbit came up missing one day, never to be seen again.  A favorite chicken bit the dust, or rather a dog bit the chicken.  Deer have been killed in the road by cars.  Their bones have become treats for the dogs.  Are you wanting me to stop? 

This all just got me to pondering once again. These creatures were all created by God.  They are not infused with a soul as we humans are.  They are creatures created with natural instinct and they just do what they are created to do.  You may say, “my dog would never do that”.  Yes, we bring pets into our homes and love them and we train them and discipline them, but that instinct never goes away because it was not meant to.  Cars do not mean to hit deer, but if they jump out in front of you, especially in the dark, they risk getting hit and killed.  If there are other animals around when this happens, they are not going to waste the carcass.  The circle of life. 

Sometimes I think it would be nice to be a bird.  Do you think when babies are taken, the momma and daddy sit around and get depressed, sit in their nest not wanting to get out, not wanting to go on with life.  No, they fly on to the next thing.  That’s how they are created.  But, what would I be missing?  Love.  Love is not just instinct, it is a God given emotion for us human beings. Love is wonderful…it can also be painful.  But I would not give up love because of the fear of pain that might accompany it.  I heard a quote a long time ago that said, “It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.”  I agree.  I have suffered pain through loving, but I would not go back and give up love.  I would do it all again,  because with God, He works all things for good. I just have to wait around and see what He has planned.  I can’t wait, but I will because His timing is best.  I will love, I will feel the pain, I will give it to God, I will forgive, and I will go on.  Because that is how I was created to be.

Meanwhile as I now am sitting in the backyard in another swing, I am witnessing another bird family, this one is the Eastern Blue Bird
The cirle of life continues.

Linking up with the community of chicks over at the nest of

Friday, May 27, 2011

Blessings Now and Then

I'll be linking this on Monday with the others over at

I love to get up in the mornings and read my three favorite devotionals.  One of them is Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  It seems to speak directly to me on so many days.  This is what one of the recent Monday's said. . .

"Approach each new day with desire to find Me. . .there are hidden treasures strategically placed along the way. . .blessings that reveal My Presence: sunshine, flowers, birds, friendships, answered prayer.  I have not abandoned this sin-wracked world; I am still richly present in it. . .search for deep treasure as you go through this day.  You will find Me all along the way."   

Yes Lord, you are in front of me, behind me, to the left and to the right. You are in my past, present and future. Thank you for showing me gifts today that were given years ago. May I never be so in a hurry that I miss Your Presence, Your Calling, Your Treasures.
498.  beautiful, heart-warming, tear stained face senior luncheon
499.  beautiful words spoken from young soon-to-be graduates to their families
500.  youth pastors, especially a one special Mr. Jeff
501.  "Mama Stewart" full of hospitality
502.  faithful Bible study leaders
503.  wonderful college interns and assistants
504.  14 young men ~ an answer to prayer
505. plaque with above young men, blessed words to my second born

506.   balloons

507.  my senior

508.  strawberry lemonade and converstaion shared with an amazing woman
509.  an empty kitchen sink
510.  a visitor

511.  sharp pencils
512.  pens that glide across the paper
513.  blank sheet of paper ready to be filled
514.  26 letters ~ to form all the words I'll ever need ~ all the words to read

515.  our American Flag

516.  men and women in uniforms;
517.  memories
(my husbands grandfather in WW1)
(my Dad in WW2)
(my husband's father in WW2)
(my husband 38 years ago)
518.  proud of husband for saving man's life on this day
519.  awards

520.  dog tags safely home
521.  freedoms

Enjoy your Memorial Day week-end everyone!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Insurance or Assurance

The winds were fierce for awhile here at my Kentucky home this morning.  I love rain storms, hearing the great sounds of thunder and watching the lightning streak across the sky.  The smell of rain is one of my favorites.  My husband and I sit out on the front porch like two old geezers watching with glee as if we had never seen rain before.

But the fierce winds are another story.  This Oklahoma gal who once lived in “tornado alley” has seen the devastating destruction of tornadic winds.  They can pop up so quickly and take unexpected turns.  John 3:8…”The wind blows wherever it pleases.  You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going.” Kinda like life.  We can think we know what direction we’re going and which way our loved ones are going, but the winds can kick up so unexpectedly and change course so quickly, it knocks you right off your feet.

If a tree caves in on my roof, I have insurance.  But what about the winds of life?  There is something better than insurance and that is assurance…assurance that God is there to either calm the storm… “He got up, rebuked the wind and said…Quiet!  Be still!  Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.” Mark 4:39.  OR, He will walk with you through the storm…Isaiah 43:2… “ When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you…”

We believers are not promised a life without storms.  They will come in one form or another.  But rest assured, we are not alone.  We need not fear or be alarmed.  When the howling, blowing winds come across your path, stand strong, do not fear, for He is near.

When this last life storm hit me, I began to sink, just like Peter on the water when he took his eyes off Jesus and became afraid of the wind.  I became afraid of my storm.  My focus went completely on it.  I began to sink as well as two others in my household.  But when the three of focused back on our Savior, we were able to fight.  His presence and His Word healed us.  My favorite verse during this time that I clung to was Isaiah 41:10… “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  I clung to that hand!  What assurance He gives us to get through the storms of life.

If a tree falls through my roof, I’ll call the insurance man.  But for anything else, I will call on the One who gives me complete assurance.  And with this, there are no premiums to pay!

Humming. . .Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine. . . . .

Monday, May 23, 2011

Multitude of Blessings

This past week was a time of serving and a time of rest; serving at the hospital offering lunch bags and prayers with a hug or two.  The blessings flowed my way.  My husband took a day off during the week and we spent the whole day out in our haven, our back yard, and also out at the pond, where my writing began.  More blessings and gifts were produced.  They may seem ordinary to some, but to me, they were gifts from the Father.  My eyes were open and my senses were tuned in to discover what my Heavenly Father had for me this week.  My heart swelled once again. His blessings overflowed.  Let me show you. . . .

473.  perseverance
474.  education
475.  praying with the sick in hospitals
476.  antiseptic handwash
477.  elevators~for tired, sore legs
478.  for the Holy Spirit speaking through me when offering prayers for strangers
479.  smiles, gratefulness, and hugs from these same strangers
480.  catching up with a friend at our favorite lunch place
481.  crushed ice
482.  board games and jenga being played at dining room table with loved ones
483.  witnessing another bird feeding his family

484.  natures decorations

485.  thorns~remembering that after pain, beauty can follow

486.  sweet scented flowers from the Father

487.  the cutest of bugs on his shiny yellow seat

488.  happy little flowers with honey bee going in to enjoy

489.  sunlight on leaves

490.  finding the heart that began the writings

491.  the most loving, loyal, faithful hand I know, the one that holds mine and let's me know it will all be ok
Also reminds me of Isaiah 41:10 and another loving, faithful hand I take hold of many times

492.  more of natures decor

493.  dragonflies~an interesting creation from God

494.  delicate wings

495.  interesting, beautiful grass

496.  peaceful, God meets me here pond

My place where I went when I was hurting, I was bewildered and shocked, I was angry and sad and depressed and confused and did not understand why a loving, intelligent, kind, sweet boy of mine would change so and leave.  God met me here everytime.  He let me vent, He let me cry and shout, and scream.  I prayed, I talked, I paced around, I sat still with the Word in my lap and I listened.  And He touched me, He whispered to me, He brought me gifts, and He let me know that His eye was on my loved one and everything would be ok in His timing.  He healed my heart. He healed it before my prayer was answered. Glory to God in the highest!  Glory to God who is full of compassion and to the One who keeps His promises.  When He says He will never leave or forsake us, I can attest to the fact that He doesn't. He won't!  Do you need someone to hear you?  Go to Him. Go!  Talk to Him, pour out your heart.  Then be still and listen.  And watch for the gifts, they are there, look. He has them with your name on them.
Be blessed dear friends! 

linking up with Ann and the finder of gifts over at

Friday, May 20, 2011


When our first born became a prodigal 5 years ago, not only did Keith and I lose a son for a time, but our younger one Chris, lost a brother as well.  We were all very close until Tim turned 18, changed, and left.  The three of us were left empty, numb, and at times angry.  Keith and I had each other and Christopher had us but it wasn’t the same.  He needed that camaraderie that he had been used to having, now from his peers.

Keith and I hit the ground on our knees asking God to bring a good friend into  Christopher’s life.  And just like God, He did one better.  Chris, from the time since losing his brother, had not 1, not 2, but 14 brothers!  Christopher was led to a small bible study group.  I told someone these were not normal teen boys.  Oh yes, they are teen-age boys who do boy things ~ work out, play hard, burp and other noisy activities, they act goofy when appropriate.  But they also have a maturity beyond most of their peers.  These are God-seeking, God-honoring teen boys who took our son in like a brother, and we watched him bloom into a more confident, happy kid once again.

They play together, study God’s Word together, worship and pray together.  They’ve camped together, built fires, shot guns, played with spears, gone to camps, on mission trips, watched movies, played games and probably other stuff a mom doesn’t need to know about.  But I know it's all good, clean fun…right boys?  Yes, because they all have that new heart we receive when we’ve invited Jesus in, and they take it seriously.  It’s not a game to them.

When one of the boys mother lay in the hospital dying, all the rest of them were up there with the son for hours each day. . .commitment and brotherly love

Christopher gave his testimony at summer camp and in Scotland. . .boldness from a quiet one

Christopher wrote and preached sermonettes for youth group. . .bravery, confidence

These boys brought a sense of belonging. . .gave fun back into our son’s life.

Families are important and Satan knows that and will do whatever he can to tear them apart.  And it may seem like he’s accomplishing that for a time.  But God doesn’t leave us hanging.  “Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41;10

Christopher cried out to Him one dark and lonely night and God bent down and heard.  He answered.  He brought him up out of a pit and gave him a gift. . .a band of brothers.

Keith and I will be forever grateful for this answered prayer, to each of these boys, and to the parents who raised them.  And this gives us hope that our other prayer will be answered one day for the blood brother to return all the way.

Hats off  to the  KWG!  May God bless each and every one of you as you go on your way to new paths and adventures.

(Christopher is on the bottom row, 2nd from left, darker blue t-shirt)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


I smiled today as I threw trash out. Why you might ask?  Let me explain.

We have a large, black, plastic trash can with lid in the garage, just off the kitchen.  Inside is always lined with a plastic trash bag that gets pulled over the lip of the can.  The trash goes INTO the bag.  Well. . .not always.  When my son and husband throw trash in, they just open the lid and toss without looking.  I always look to make sure the trash gets into the bag. This might have something to do with my perfectionism, which I’m trying to let go of just a little. Or it could just be that I’m normal in wanting trash inside the trash bag.  Anyway, sometimes something heavy will be thrown in and the bag will come off of the lip of the can and becomes crumpled.  When my guys just toss without looking, if that bag has come off, trash just piles up on top of the bag and when I come along, I have to take all that trash off by hand and insert it into bag.  This can be unpleasant at times depending on what the trash is, and also has been frustrating to me wondering why grown men cannot get trash into the trash bag.   Gggrrrrr. . .

But just a few weeks ago, we had a small scare.  My husband found a lump that was quite disturbing.  After all the googling on this kind of lump, the diagnosis did not sound good.  And when the doctor said we need to look further into this, I got a little worried and went into my prayer closet.  Praise the Lord, it only ended up being a fatty cyst and we were told it was nothing to worry about.  Nothing had to be done.  Again, Praise the Lord!

I have to tell you though, while waiting the week to find out what the news on this lump would be, I began to see things a little differently, one thing being the trash.  Would I rather have the trash pristinely in the trash bag and not have my husband around or would I rather have him around and have the trash, well, trashy.  Seems like an absurd question until the security of your mate being around becomes indangered. 

I like my home clean and tidy and trash in the trash bag, but not at the expense of being alone.  This sounds silly, but before, it used to be such an irritation to see the trash on top of the bag, clothes on the floor, candy wrappers left on the coffee table, socks in the floor inches away from the laundry basket, dirty glasses and dishes sitting on top of the dishwasher instead of inside the dishwasher.  Can grown men not do these simple tasks? 
Maybe, but I’m not going to care anymore.  One of the ways I can show love is to pick up after my men with a smile and feel so very blessed that they are with me to share this life with.  Life can get messy and my husband has always been there with me through it all.  So I will be with him through his messiness of the house…the trash.  After all, he works hard to provide for us and it’s my job to make our house a home.  I never wanted to do anything else but that.  So I pick up with joy whatever is not suppose to be on the floor, on the tables, and put trash that is sitting on top of the trash bag inside the trash bag.

Remember the Proverb, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife” ?  Well, I don’t want my husband up there on the roof, I want him inside with me.  So toss away honey, if it lands in the bag, woo-hoo!  And if it doesn’t, I love ya anyway.

I know from a writer’s standpoint, this story is probably very messy.  I was trying to get a point across.  I hope I did just that and it didn’t just end up sounding like trash talk!  

Linking up with the girls over at