Why a blog from me, someone who has never been a writer, someone who has never been articulate or had a solid grasp of the grammar world. Because God told me to write. Several years ago a life storm invaded my family. God kept telling me to write it all down. I argued, but He would not let up. This went on every day for a couple of weeks until one day out of frustration, (I'd like to say it was out of obedience), I picked up a pen and paper and wrote for 7 hours straight! Do you think maybe I needed therapy and God knew it?

I've been writing ever since and have learned to love it! I started out sharing my stories with friends and family. I've now been published in a Nashville church paper, Our Daily Journey (a devotional site of RBC Ministries), PCCWeb Daily Devotional, Ruby for Women Ezine Magazine, and I am a contributor in the book Alabaster Jars, Life in Abundance Collection 2.

Why Ponderings? During this life storm, God led me to a pond in the woods behind my home. There He met me each time, teaching new lessons, reminding me of old ones, showing His presence and allowing me to feel His love through the surroundings of that pond. I found myself returning over and over to ponder, pray and praise. A healing of my heart took place and out of the experience came my first book, Ponderings From the Pond, then a second book, Ponderings From My Porch, and now a third book is in the works along with a memoir about my storm.

Why am I making myself so vulnerable? Because God has done so much that I cannot keep quiet. I have to share. Jesus's last words to his desciples were, "Go,tell." We are his disciples too and this is just one of my ways of telling.

I'm no scholar but I have heard God's voice in my spirit, experience His love daily, and have a desire for others to experience this also. I would love to share with all who visit and I would love to hear from you. If my sharing gets just one to ponder, to be quiet with the Father, to see and hear from Him or to be reminded of something from Him, then this is worth my vulnerability.

As you visit me, sometimes we will be at the pond, sometimes we will move to the front porch, and sometimes we will just be here, there, and yonder. Thank you for coming and please feel free to come back anytime, you are always welcome here.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14


My first book, Ya Know What I'm Say'n, has been released.



Thursday, August 11, 2011

Prison Doors

Thinking of my new friend Greg, who spent so much time in prison in the past, I pondered again. . .we look so different from one another and our paths in life are so different from each other's, but are there any similarites? Greg at one time, actually many times, was behind the prison door.  So was I.  His was made of iron, mine wasn't but it still trapped me.  My bars were the ones called shyness, extreme shyness, timidity and insecurities that held me locked in silence; hid me in the background. . .right where I wanted to be.  Actually, no, I didn't want to be there, but it was too scary to come out.

Slowly though, over time, God began to work on me, pulling me out of my comfort zones.  Prison bars and comfort zones do not seem to go together and yet I think we get comfortable in what we know even if it is not best for us. Those kind of bars lock us in where blessings cannot easily reach.  But God knows what is best and He knows how to reach past the bars.

Over the years, I've come out of many comfort zones.  God led me out of the doors that the enemy tried to keep closed.  Sometimes still, even though it's been many years, I still feel sometimes I'd rather be back in the comfort zone; all eyes off me, blending into the background, but God says no. 

" ...let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven"
Matthew 5:16

I used to have trouble with this verse, because I use to think that if I let them see the good deeds, it would come across as bragging. . .look at me.  This was the last thing someone like myself wanted.  But God began to show me that this verse is not about me, (so narcissistic), but it is about Him.  He wants us to show what He has done through us. . .it's all about Him and THAT, I can do!

Prison can be different things to different people.  And the prisoner can be so well dressed, put together exquisitely, appearing very successful, and even walking through church doors every week and yet stand behind bars, bars invisible to the outside world but are very real to this individual.  And they can be just as strong as Greg's steel prison bars were. . .bars such as unforgiveness, anger, resentments, addictions, feelings of inadequicies...____________(fill in the blank). 

I've discovered as a believer that Jesus has already unlocked our prison doors.  But sometimes we're still standing in the cell as if it is still closed.  The door is open. . .freedom is right there. . .it's just a matter of stepping forward and out that prison door.  I think many times we don't see that open door because we are focusing on ourself which means we are looking downward and inward.  We need to look up and out and see Jesus on the other side of that door reaching His hand out to take hold of ours.

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous Right Hand."

Over the last 10-12 years, I have been learning to take that Hand and walk forward.

Never in a million years did I ever imagine I would find myself purposely sitting on a park bench and more than once, next to what was a big, bad, dude, ex- convict, asking him about his life and sharing Jesus!  But Jesus is who brought us together and made us friends.  Isn't that just like God. . .to bring two unlikely people together to talk about HIM! Greg is not behind steel bars anymore, but he has been behind others; bars similiar to the ones I had.  I'm praying he will realize soon that he can be totally free. He just has to walk forward, reach out and take the Almighty's Hand.

 Psalm 146:7
 . . .the Lord sets the prisoners free.

How about you?  Are you sitting in some kind of a prison cell?  Look up!  The door is open!  Walk forward and take His hand.  Freedom is right there waiting.  The blessings are waiting!  Go For It!


Lisa Maria said...

Wow, Kristin.. this post resonated within me. I have also had similar bars to hide behind. I have never been comfortable in the spotlight and like you, I've been extremely conscious of being perceived to be egotistical. God did a lot of work on me and using the biblical woman Judith.. He showed me the same thing. Judith remained a hermit in her home, fasting and praying after she became widowed, but this was some sort of preparation because at the appointed time God placed on her heart the desire to be used to defeat her country's enemy. By her hand was the army leader's head cut off and the enemy defeated. She went from a recluse to a heroine, very much in the public eye. I'm still not comfortable being in the spotlight, but God is giving me the courage to step forward a little more.. its an ongoing process!

Wonderful post.. I know others will be as encouraged as I am.

Love & Hugs

ells said...

I can relate to the prison...I feel I am being set free...Listening for the voice of Love and following...even where I am uncomfortable...for me right now it is small steps...but they are leading me to a big place with God.
I am encouraged to read your story...thanks for sharing.

Lisa said...

He who the Son sets free is free indeed! No more shackles, no more chains, I am FREE! I don't ever want to forget the that the price has been paid, and the doors are open. I just have to take the steps and walk through. Great post!

Jedidja said...

Thank you for posting this. It affects me because I often feel like a bird in a birdcage. Your words touches me, especially that text from the Bible: 'Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous' Great!

Anonymous said...

As someone who is not always willing to be "seen," your testimony truly brought a bit of encouragement to my heart. The feeling of being "trapped" is never a happy place. May all who are feeling "trapped" learn to take refuge in the Lord.

Stacie said...


This post is just so true on many levels. The thing that struck me was when you said, ". . .yet I think we get comfortable in what we know even if it is not best for us." I have found myself in these so-called comfort zones that are not what's best for me or my family.

It is encouraging to know that God is a Deliverer who can set captives free. . .including me!

Jean said...

Amazing post and we are all so blessed to know you and be able to share your stories. Thanks for sharing!

Erin said...

This is so powerful, Kristin. We can all be trapped in our own prisons. And even though Jesus has opened the door, sometimes we choose to stay there. I'm so glad that the Lord brought you and Greg across each other's paths. You will be a tremendous blessing to each other!

Anonymous said...

What a terrific visual this post is! I would much prefer freedom to prison, and yet I often default to the familiar prison. Freedom is such a treasure. I will press past what is familiar and open the gift so graciously given.. FREEDOM! Praise God!