Welcome

Why a blog from me, someone who has never been a writer, someone who has never been articulate or had a solid grasp of the grammar world. Because God told me to write. Several years ago a life storm invaded my family. God kept telling me to write it all down. I argued, but He would not let up. This went on every day for a couple of weeks until one day out of frustration, (I'd like to say it was out of obedience), I picked up a pen and paper and wrote for 7 hours straight! Do you think maybe I needed therapy and God knew it?

I've been writing ever since and have learned to love it! I started out sharing my stories with friends and family. I've now been published in a Nashville church paper, Our Daily Journey (a devotional site of RBC Ministries), PCCWeb Daily Devotional, Ruby for Women Ezine Magazine, and I am a contributor in the book Alabaster Jars, Life in Abundance Collection 2.

Why Ponderings? During this life storm, God led me to a pond in the woods behind my home. There He met me each time, teaching new lessons, reminding me of old ones, showing His presence and allowing me to feel His love through the surroundings of that pond. I found myself returning over and over to ponder, pray and praise. A healing of my heart took place and out of the experience came my first book, Ponderings From the Pond, then a second book, Ponderings From My Porch, and now a third book is in the works along with a memoir about my storm.

Why am I making myself so vulnerable? Because God has done so much that I cannot keep quiet. I have to share. Jesus's last words to his desciples were, "Go,tell." We are his disciples too and this is just one of my ways of telling.

I'm no scholar but I have heard God's voice in my spirit, experience His love daily, and have a desire for others to experience this also. I would love to share with all who visit and I would love to hear from you. If my sharing gets just one to ponder, to be quiet with the Father, to see and hear from Him or to be reminded of something from Him, then this is worth my vulnerability.

As you visit me, sometimes we will be at the pond, sometimes we will move to the front porch, and sometimes we will just be here, there, and yonder. Thank you for coming and please feel free to come back anytime, you are always welcome here.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

*****EXCITING NEWS*****

My first book, Ya Know What I'm Say'n, has been released.


Ponderings

Ponderings

Thursday, July 28, 2011

How to Make Sleeping Mats for the Homeless

This is the video to go with yesterday's post, Plarn Balls. . . . .




I do not know how to crochet.  I just make the plarn balls and give them to the people at our Community Action Center.  The women there are crocheters.  If you do not crochet either, you could just make the plarn balls and find crocheters to do the rest.  I bet there are a lot of older women in the church who crochet and this might give them a ministry to be a part of. . .just a thought :)

Happy plarning everyone!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Plarn Balls



Last year I learned about plarn balls. . .plastic yarn.  What in the world would you do with plastic yarn? Mats are crocheted with plarn to make mats for the homeless.  They are soft, dry easily and quickly, gives the person something between the cold ground and their covers. 

It's a wonderful way to recycle those used plastic bags from places such as Wal-Mart, Target, and Krogers.
It brings awareness to the communities about homelessness.  And it's a way to share the love of Christ from the community to the homeless.  They are always so appreciative to receive one of these mats. 

Last year, I think I made hundreds of plarn balls as well as some of my friends.  Today at WKU (Western Kentucky University) a  friend and I went to where there was a plarn class for the day.  I was surprised and blessed to be able to share my story of the blanket ministry and what a blessing it has been.  I met some really nice people who also have a heart for the homeless and doing all that they can to bring awareness to the communities and help for the homeless.

I almost didn't go today.  I'm so glad I did.  I think this is another piece of the puzzle for me.  The picture is becoming bigger!

The beginning of plarn balls. . .

from sacks. . . . . . . . . . .


to strips. . . . .

to plarn balls. . . . .

to mats. . . . .





They are anywhere from 5-6 feet long and 4-5 feet wide.  They have handles on them, so the person can roll them up and carry it on their shoulders while they walk.

It takes anywhere from 500-700 plastic bags to make 1 mat.

Next time you look at one of those plastic bags. . .please do not throw it away.  If you are interested in them being used this way, find out about the places in your community who help the homeless and ask if they know about these mats and could you donate your bags for it.  Even better yet, you can google the directions and make the plarn balls yourself!  Something fun and easy to do while watching t.v. or visiting with someone, or just listening to music.

A great and easy and cheap way to give, and it means so much to those who have no where to sleep but on the ground or a cement slab underneath a bridge. 

I think Jesus would be pleased with these gifts given in love.  Yet while we were still sinners He gave. . .He gave so much more than a plastic bag. . .just a little something to ponder on.

God Bless You!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Waiting



What makes us wait?  For a mother to be, she has to wait 9 months for her precious babe to enter the world.  And then there is the labor.  For some of us, like me, I had to wait 19 hours before my precious first born came out to meet me.  My husband and I waited 18 years to see our precious one walk across the stage in cap, gown, and honors cord to receive his high school diploma.  Keith and I waited for 12 years to see if our prayers would be answered when finally the letter came stating our first born was awarded the 4 year scholarship to college.  At the end of the first semester, we received another letter stating our son had lost his scholarship because he had made poor choices in deciding after 7 weeks, and behind our backs, to not go to school anymore.  For the past 5 years, we have waited for our prodigal to return.  He came, he left, he came, he left.  He still has not returned all the way.  We still wait.

Abraham had to wait 25 years for the fulfillment of a promise.  After Noah was told to build the ark, he waited 120 years for the rain to come.  The Israelites waited 40 years before seeing the Promised Land.

Waiting happens for all kinds of reasons.  Some are physical, some wait because of disobedience, lessons needing to be learned, others need to make choices and sometimes because God’s timing is different from our own.

God promises to never leave us or forsake us.  I know this first hand.  In all my waitings, He has been right there. I wasn’t always patient in the beginning for waiting is not easy.  But in the waiting, God is teaching me more and more to trust Him completely. . .in everything. Learning that kind of trust builds those spiritual muscles that keep us from slipping down into a pit. If we have already fallen into a pit, our loving God goes down there with us and will help us with a workout until we are strong enough to climb out. And He is right there beside us cheering us on as we climb and enter the world again.   Those muscles becoming stronger is what gets us out there with a smile on our face, feeling compassion for others, serving and focusing elsewhere while our heart is waiting in stillness.

Speaking of hearts, how patient Jesus must be to wait for all of us to come to Him, to open the door of our hearts and invite Him in.  “Behold, I stand at the door and knock…”.  He waited 12 years for me.  How long did He wait for you?  Is He still waiting?

In our waiting, we can have hope; hope in our Fathers promises.  After 25 years of waiting, the fullfilllment of Abraham's promise was birthed.  After 120 years, Noah's rain came.  After 40 years, the Israelites saw their Promised Land.  I don't know what my number will be, but I'm ok with that now.  Because I trust the Lord to do what needs to be done and in His timing. "Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old, will not depart from it."  I believe that and I'm standing on the promises.

I’m waiting with the light on at the door.  He’s waiting for you to open the door.  He’s holding out the greatest gift ever.  If you’ve excepted it, then you and I are waiting for something else ~ something glorious ~ ‘Come Lord Jesus”.

If you haven’t, open that door and accept. . . “Come Lord Jesus.”   I promise you will never regret it.

What are you waiting for?


Linking with

Monday, July 25, 2011

Simply Counting the Multitudes with Gratitude

Simply counting with a grateful heart. . .

632.  opened doors of opportunities
633.  boldness~to step through those doors
634.  ten stories published
635.  for God using one with no writing experience to reach out and touch with words
636.  for those coming back to reach out and touch me
637.  bondings ~ through cyberspace
638.  blanket ministry starting in another state
639.  new friendships
640.  compassionate hearts
641.  encouraging pats on the back
642.  cat purrs
643.  holding hands and praying in the swing
644.  libraries
645.  visits from neighbors
646.  sharing lucious cheesecake with a friend
647.  midnight hugs
648.  scented pillows
649.  eatings Japanese food with 2nd born
650.  laughing in car with same kid
651.  close parking spots
652.  friendly cashiers who visit with you
653.  shopping carts with working wheels
654.  yoga stretches that ease pain
655.  cool flip-flops on hot days
657.  witnessing help coming for a friend
658.  seeing hope in one's eyes
659.  watching father and son working on son's car


 
 


660.  grease stained hard working hands


661.  the right tools to get the job done

 


662.  perseverance ~ my guys worked on the car for 8 hours out in the heat!
663.  hand degreasers


664.  stain removers for clothing
degreaser for those greasy work clothes from above



665.  comfort ~ husband putting arm around crying me after we realized the next day the car wasn't fixed
                                                     and he gently telling me it would be ok
666.  prayers on knees with hubby
667.  assurance ~ knowing God will take care of our needs
668.  for a God who let me know it all wouldn't be easy, but He would be right there through it all

 Through the simple every days, ordinary days, wild days, quiet days, happy days and hard days,
may you find those gifts He has planted in your path.  You just never know
where they will pop up! :)  May they lift you up, make you smile, bless you.
And as my momma always says. . .Don't forget to say thank you.

Thank You Jesus!



Linking with others over at

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Wild Thing

My mane has been a wild thing.  When I was young, it was big, it was unruly, it was wild, it was scary, it was a beast.
            I had long hair when I was little.  I also used to love to chew gum at this time.  I would have gum in my mouth so much that sometimes I would forget to spit it out at night before going to bed. Bad thing!  The next morning somehow that piece of wet, gooey gum went from my mouth right into my hair-ugh!  We would try freezing the gum with an ice cube and then try to peel it off.  This would work some, but we would always have to cut a little out.  My long hair used to get so tangled that when I was in one of my younger grades, my mom sat me on a little red stool in the kitchen saying I needed a trim.  I got suspicious when I felt the cold scissors on the back of my neck.  You know the famous line…”oh what a tangled web we weave?”  My mother probably could have been heard saying this about my hair.  “Oh what a tangled mess I weave, braid, pick and brush.”  That is probably why when I looked in the mirror after my “trim”, I saw that I had gone from waist length hair to a pixie.  I was a tad bit sad, but I was a little girl, so I got over it pretty quickly. 
            I grew and so did my hair.  As a teen-ager, I had a love-hate relationship with this thick, frizzy mane of mine.  I could fix it beautifully but one step out in the Oklahoma wind and it was all gone.  I quickly learned the Oklahoma hair doo that was so popular, buns and braids.  But my hair was so heavy this would give me a headache. 
            I longed to have straight, shiny, sleek, smooth hair that when wind blown, afterwards would lie back down in place.  All my friends had this perfect hair.  I used to plead with the Lord, “Why can’t I have that kind of hair?”
            Hairdressers used to tell me all the time that lots of women paid big money to get the body and curls I naturally had.  These women would tease their hair and I had to tame mine down.  I would have given money to have their problem.
            Then came high school in the late 70’s-1980.  I bet you can guess, yep, I had the Farrah Fawcett doo.  I loved this hair style but all those feathers were hard to keep up with.  The right side would flip up, the left side curl down.  I had a tower of feathers on top of my head.  To keep all those feathers in place, I used LOTS of hairspray.  No man could have run his fingers through my hair at the time, and yet, I still got me a man!
             Swimming in the summer?  You gotta be kidding, with my hair?  I would work so hard to make it look perfect.  If I got it wet, it curled and kinked, and bangs would shrink five inches.

I learned to swim without getting my hair wet.  I know, it was pitiful.
            As a mature adult now, I’ve learned having certain hair products, weapons and a great hairdresser who just happens to have curly hair herself, is the key.  Shampoo +Conditioner, Infusium 23, blow dryer, hot rollers, hot iron, several kinds of brushes, comb, and a pick, and I’m ready to go.  It’s not as bad as it sounds.  I can have it done in 20 minutes, which is not bad for a 15 hour day.
            Remember Paul’s thorn in his side?  Mine was on top of my head.  Paul’s was chronic and debilitating.  Mine, if it was debilitating, was only because of my own insecurities. That was the root of my problem.  It was not so much about my hair but about my own insecurities and maybe just a touch of. . .ok, ok, a lot of vanity issues.  As I grew older and learned to lean on Jesus more and more, my insecurities started to diminish.  When I became stronger in the Lord, more focused on Him instead of myself, the beast on my head started to tame down. 
            Yes, I have the right tools to use on my hair now.  But more importantly I have the tools God has given me in His Word to be more at peace, at ease, and comfortable in my own skin, and hair.
            One of God’s tools is scripture.  They tell me He is in control, so I don’t need to worry and fret.  He is always with me, I am never alone.  He will qualify me for whatever He calls me to do.  He forgives so I never have to brood over past sins.  He gives me the power to forgive when I need to.  He gives me boldness when I need it.  He always loves me, I never have to feel unloved.  He empowers me, gives me peace beyond understanding and love I can hardly fathom. He gave me this crown of tresses and I have learned to be grateful and thankful for it. I'm even told when these tresses turn gray, it will be a crown of glory!            
            If my hair became an uncontrollable wild thing again, it would be ok. There are always hats.  What’s in my heart is much more important than what is on top of my head.  I want to be a wild thing for Jesus.  I want to be wildly loving for Jesus.  I want to be wildly serving for Him.  I want to be on fire for Him. I may not look wild on the outside but inside is a different story.  That kind of wild thing does not need to be tamed.

Just a footnote. . .If you're in the Bowling Green area and you just need to have your hair tamed, colored, highlighted, curled, straightened, cut, trimmed, or have an updo, hairdo, or whatever, I have the perfect place for you. . .come here. . .  there are mane tamers here and they are awesome!           
It's like a sanctuary, a place to tame the wild and beastly head of hair. 
And if you want to look beastly, they'll even put feathers in your hair :)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Broken People, God's Restoration

 


google image


Living life as a young girl in a broken home and now being around the homeless, I have witnessed a lot of broken people.  Pieces of them go flying off into different directions; addictions, depression, grief, anxiety disorders, extreme selfishness, deceptions, etc.

This can happen not only to the unbeliever but to the believer also.  That was me five years ago when my precious first born left too early and became the prodigal.  I did not see that coming.  I was dumbfounded, shocked, confused, angry, and horribly saddened.  I began to sink into depression.

For a brief time, all I could see was darkness and despair but I quickly realized what was happening and called out to my Savior.  Jesus is compassionate and he hurts when we hurt.  He doesn’t want us to stay in the broken state we entered into and offers us His hand.  He offers us the puzzle pieces to make us whole again; we just have to accept them.

When I called out to Him, He bent down and listened.  He then began to restore me piece by piece.  My pieces of this puzzle was a blonde headed angel with skin on, my mentor, my husband, my small groups prayers, my extended family’s love, support, encouragement and prayers, prayers from prayer warriors, my special time with my Savior out at the pond, serving opportunities, and then the gift of writing. The pieces all came together and my heart healed.  Only with Christ, can a heart feel healed, when a situation is not.

Are you feeling broken?  Are you missing pieces?  If you do not have Jesus as Savior in your heart, that is the biggest missing piece.  I invite you to start your new picture by inviting the first and most important piece, Jesus, into your heart.  It’s such a simple piece of the puzzle.  Just bow your head and ask Jesus to forgive you of all your sins, and then invite Him into your heart to be your Lord and Savior.  If you have already done this, but still needing pieces put back together, then I invite you both to reach up and grab His righteous right hand and hear His words, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Then start looking for your pieces, accept them, and watch your picture become whole again.

I reached out and grabbed His hand and never let go.

Me whole again.

Click to Mix and Solve
For fun, hit the arrow and see what I was like before. . .then you can put me back together again.

I'd like to hear if you did it  :)

Monday, July 18, 2011

Blessings in His Beauty

I went on a hunt and look what I found. . .



625.  beauty in pink petals and spiky tops, and yellow, fluttery wings. . .

626.  glowing yellow from within this beauty. . .

627.  beautiful, deep oranges with spindly middles. . .

628.  beautiful designs within beautiful flower

629.  beautiful light shining on pine needles

630.  beautiful, simple, perfect, leaves

631.  beautiful ladybug balancing on the tiniest of seats 

632.  path leading me home

I'm so thankful to the Creator of beauty and for the paths He leads me on, whether those lead to beauty or other, because I know when He is with me, whatever path He puts me on is the right one for me.  I treasure the gifts of beauty I have seen, and the beauty of those I am around, and the beauty of the One who leads.  This week has been a quiet one for me and I have treasured the blessing of stillness and quietness and the peace and being still and knowing the Presence of my Lord.
(Psalm 46:10)

May you all find beauty this coming week and walk the path He leads you on.

linking with

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Broken People, God's Restoration

 
 
google image


Living life as a young girl in a broken home and now being around the homeless, I have witnessed a lot of broken people.  Pieces of them go flying off into different directions; addictions, depression, grief, anxiety disorders, extreme selfishness, deceptions, etc.

This can happen not only to the unbeliever but to the believer also.  That was me six years ago when my precious first born left too early and became the prodigal.  I did not see that coming.  I was dumbfounded, shocked, confused, angry, and horribly saddened.  I began to sink into depression.

For a brief time, all I could see was darkness and despair but I quickly realized what was happening and called out to my Savior.  Jesus is compassionate and he hurts when we hurt.  He doesn’t want us to stay in the broken state we entered into and offers us His hand.  He offers us the puzzle pieces to make us whole again; we just have to accept them.

When I called out to Him, He bent down and listened.  He then began to restore me piece by piece.  My pieces of this puzzle was a blonde headed angel with skin on, my mentor, my husband, my small groups prayers, my extended family’s love, support, encouragement and prayers, prayers from prayer warriors, my special time with my Savior out at the pond, serving opportunities, and then the gift of writing. The pieces all came together and my heart healed.  Only with Christ, can a heart feel healed, when a situation is not.

Are you feeling broken?  Are you missing pieces?  If you do not have Jesus as Savior in your heart, that is the biggest missing piece.  I invite you to start your new picture by inviting the first and most important piece, Jesus, into your heart.  It’s such a simple piece of the puzzle.  Just bow your head and ask Jesus to forgive you of all your sins, and then invite Him into your heart to be your Lord and Savior.  If you have already done this, but still needing pieces put back together, then I invite you both to reach up and grab His righteous right hand and hear His words, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Then start looking for your pieces, accept them, and watch your picture become whole again.

I reached out and grabbed His hand and never let go.

Me whole again.

Click to Mix and Solve
For fun, hit the arrow and see what I was like before. . .then you can put me back together again.

I'd like to hear if you did it  :)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Tip Toe Through the Tulips




My firstborn is musical.  He had piano lessons for nine years, winning all kinds of trophies in competitions when he was younger.  He then learned the guitar.  He has written and composed his own music.  The first 4 1/2 years of piano lessons, I was his teacher.  I had a love for the piano and I think music is one of the things God gave to us to bond us even more.  Sitting next to each other on the piano bench was wonderful, although we had our moments of not so wonderfulness.  But then I believe every piano student has those moments, I know I did.

This precious one left 5 years ago before he was ready and much has happened. It felt like the enemy had broken our bond. It was painful to say the least! But the Lord is working and helping us fight the battle.  Lots of time goes by in between our precious one stepping over our threshhold.  But when he does, he and I seem to find our way back together again with music.  It is usually over the piano, or listening to him play his guitar.

This last musical instrument in his hands now is the ukelele. I can't look at a ukulele without remembering Tiny Tim from the 60's strumming his ekulele singing, Tip Toe Through the Tulips. The last time my Tim was over, we found ourselves on the sofa with him showing me the different chords.  I wanted to learn how to play a song he likes as well as me, Over the Rainbow.  So he went to google and printed off a sheet of ukelele chords and the music to this song and said he would leave the instrument with me so I could practice. I smiled that night as I lay in bed and heard second born son trying to play the song in his room. He will undoubtably learn it before me.

There is something wonderful about music. Not only do chords come together to string a beautiful melody together, but music is also a beautiful bonding tool to knit families back together. 



 Music can take away the anger, the hurt, and the awkardness and replace that space with love and forgiveness with the sweetest of sounds.Yes, love and forgiveness comes from the Father, but He so chooses to use whatever He sees fit for the occasion and for the individuals, and in our case, it is music. 


In those moments that were quiet, we hit the black and white keys together, we strummed the strings, and we have even sung together.  There is something healing about making music together.  When another relationship was healed after nine years, it was music, side by side on the piano bench that two sat and bonded back together singing for hours on end every day for that first couple of years. On that piano bench, music was made, tears were shed, love was given and prayers were offered.

As I pick up the ukelele to practice, I smile as I think how I'll hopefully surprise my son one day with an actual song and not just a bunch of random off key strumming.  My smile gets even bigger as I think how God is using music to bridge the gap that the enemy created . . .tiptoing through one song at a time. In my heart though, I am marching strongly to the beat of the drum. . .God's drum. And I believe my son's marching stride is becoming stronger, one beat at a time.  Yes, and the beat goes on. Forgiveness, healing, restoration, and the lovely sound of " I love you Mom" whispered into my ear at the end of the day. . . it's as lovely as a field of tulips.







Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Planking

I mentioned in my post yesterday that I had seen my first out in public sighting of a planking.  Some of you did not know what this was.  (and I wouldn't want you to freak out if you see this somewhere, sometime. Also, the teenagers will think your cool, hip (do we still say those words?) if you know what planking is.

It's a fad.  Remember the fads from the past?  Fads like hula hoops, streaking, disco dancing, flag pole sitting, telephone booth stuffing.  Well, it seems for this most recent decade, planking is the new fad.  It's really silly, but then isn't telephone booth stuffing silly too as well as most other fads.  Although, I did enjoy the hula hooping and probably would today if my hips still worked like they did back then.

So what is planking?  It's laying down straight on anything and looking like a plank.  I told you it was silly.  I think the more outrageous thing a person can plank on the better. They plank on benches, fences, posts, coke machines, anything!  It's really just good, clean fun. Something for teenagers to do in the summer when they are bored.  I know, there are other things they could be doing, but it seems every decade has their fads, and right now, this is one of them.  I just tell my 18 year old to please not plank on anything over six feet off the ground!  I must have told him this after this picture was taken :



Oh well!

I read the other day that blogging was a fad of the 2000's.  I guess I'm right in there with the other fadders (is that a word?)
I at least keep both feet on the ground though. And I keep my clothes on.  I never did understand that one.  But then, a lot of people will not understand this one either.  Is that part of what makes things a fad?
  Who know?  I might even give planking a try, if I can find something LOW to the ground.  Maybe the ground?
I seem to be asking a lot of questions, don't I?
There goes another one!
Oh well, again!
If you're ever out now, and you see someone laying on a post, you'll know:)

(I don't think there was really a spiritual lesson here, just a little fun for today)

Linking up with the girls over at

Monday, July 11, 2011

Eucharisteo



Is eucharisteo (thanksgiving) opening the eyes wider, the heart deeper?  Is this paradox~that giving thanks for what is, creates an appetite for more~not for more things, but for seeking more of God to give more glory?  Looking is Love.
(from 1000 gifts)

My Nature is to bless.  Your nature is to receive with thanksgiving.  This is a true fit, designed before the foundation of the world.  Glorify Me by receiving My blessings gratefully.
(Jesus Calling)

Let us come before Him with thanksgiving...
Psalm 95:2



603.  husband able to go back to work
604.  fresh homemade chicken salad
605.  humming of a fan lulling me to sleep at night
606.  the wonderful, beautiful message from a stranger
607.  stepping out of comfort zones
608. and stepping right into blessings
609.  playing basketball in driveway with the neighbor kids and for a brief time feeling like a kid
610.  for not collapsing from the running and jumping (because I'm not a kid!)
611.  wearing His yoke~lightning my burdens
612.  the robe of righteousness
613.  being loved with an everlasting love
614.  my constant companion and provider
615.  love song from the Father (Zephaniah 3:17)
616.  being given another puzzle piece of my life
617.  victories after conflicts
618.  His unswerving faithfulness
619.  resting in the shade
620.  getting to sit by a queen (you had to be there:)


621.  witnessing my first live "planking" (inside Panera!)
622.  why is 621 a blessing you may ask?  It was funny, made me laugh
623.  serving an Almighty, Holy God who gave us the ability to laugh


624.  being able to laugh after being in a pit

Then our mouth was filled with  laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, "the Lord has done great things for them'"
Psalm 126:2

May you all be blessed this week and find laughter somewhere,
even if it's just at my picture:)

Liinking with dear ones over at





 

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Hearing the Voice of the Homeless ~ One Visit at a Time

*If you are new to my blog or have not been here in awhile, you many need to read the next to the last post, Answered Prayer, to understand the current post.*



July 2, 2011, I and my friend, my bodyguard, went to our downtown square to meet Greg, a homeless man who said he would share his story.

This was as my husband put it, an exploratory mission.  This was my first time to meet Greg.  I didn't know exactly how I would handle the interview.  I had a notebook full of questions, but I also thought it might be best to just let him talk and say what he wanted this first time.  After praying before I left home, I left it in God's hands as to how it would play out.  I asked Greg if I could record and he gave his permission.

I started out by telling Greg that I believed he was an answer to my six month prayer.  I told him how many of you bloggers said you were praying for him and were putting him on prayer lists.  This made him smile big and he said he could use all the prayers he could get.

He pretty much talked with me asking just a few questions to spur him on.  He whizzed through his 46 years of life in just a little over an hour.  Needless to say, I will need to spend much more time with him to get a full story.  But here is what I came away with.

Greg at first glance might be thought of as an intimidating character, but once you begin talking with him, a deeper and more interesting, less intimidating person comes to the surface.

In his eyes one can see a hard life.  In his eyes there is a sense of searching…a sense of need…a sense of desperation…and lack of hope.

I saw a man who had gotten so deep into a hole, he didn’t know how to get out.  I felt he was scared, angry, and depressed.  He knew where he was at because of his bad choices from the past, but now he is sick with cancer and wearing a colostomy bag.  I doubt anyone is going to hire him because of that.  He doesn’t have a lot of education.  He left home at 15.  He earned his GED in prison.

Greg has within him a desire to become a person who can take care of himeself, but because of circumstances, his ability to realize that desire has not materialized. Greg appears to be the kind of man who has lost his dignity, yet needs to retain an element of dignity for himself.  He is searching for a greater purpose, but lacks the education and experience to fulfill it.  His powers of observation seem to be rather strong as he recognizes the body language of the people around him…few if any ever speaks to him, even fewer show any kindness or sense of compassion toward his plight…probably from fear…most likely from simply not understanding.

There is a measure of loss in his life as he once had a daughter who apparently died when she was 19…I know nothing about the circumstances surrounding that event, but in his eyes, one can see the pain and  probably guilt he carries about what happened.

Greg seeks help from his plight, but finds only superficial and temporary assistance.  What he needs most is something that will allow him to regain a sense of self sufficiency which by itself will lift him above the stigma of being homeless.

Greg has become a survivor in a system designed to only sustain the status quo…he needs more than that…he needs something that will elevate his sense of pride in himself.  He has a strength inside that could be tapped, but life has suppressed the best of what he could give, and now only the worst of what he has become shows.

I did give him a bag of food but other than that I cannot offer him much tangible help, but I can offer friendship and I can give him the opportunity to have a purpose right now, and that is giving him a voice to tell his story in hopes that it can be shared somewhere, somehow, to help others, the younger generation, showing them how making wrong choices can lead to such a desperate lifestyle. This man said he wanted his story to help.  This man feeds the squirrels every day in the downtown square because he said he wanted to give back and this was the only way he knew how right now.  This shows me a man who still has a heart, a soul, and a spirit worth listening too.  He said people walk by him every day not looking at him, they could care less.  I want him to know that I care. I want him to know that someone is listening.

Greg kept saying that he hoped he would go to Heaven, that he hoped he would see his daughter again one day.  I told him I didn't want him to hope, I wanted him to KNOW that he would be there some day.  I looked down and saw the yellow, plastic bracelet I had received from my church the week before.  It had John 14:6 written on it, which says, "Jesus answered, I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me."  I told this to Greg.  I slipped it off my wrist and told him I wanted him to wear it for me and to remember those words.  He held up his arm and let me slip it over his hand and onto his wrist.
I pray that he will accept this completely in his heart one day soon and will KNOW that one day he will have a permanent home, his sins will be washed away, and he will never have to be called homeless ever again.

We ended this visit with a prayer.  After I said "Amen" and raised my head, I noticed he still had his head bowed and whispered his own little prayer.

I’ve asked myself why am I doing this.  Why little ol’ me, a housewife and mother, is drawn to these people. Others have asked me this too.  Maybe I should just forget about it and walk away.  But I can’t.  My mind won’t stop thinking of them.  I believe God will not let it stop.  I asked God once several years ago what did He want me to do.  I believe He is guiding me one step at a time.  Showing me one piece of the puzzle at a time.  To walk away now would be abandoning what God has started.  And I am curious. . . what will this puzzle look like when all the pieces have come together?

I am anxiously awaiting my next visit with Greg
 Please be in prayer with me about this,
Thank you!



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