Why a blog from me, someone who has never been a writer, someone who has never been articulate or had a solid grasp of the grammar world. Because God told me to write. Several years ago a life storm invaded my family. God kept telling me to write it all down. I argued, but He would not let up. This went on every day for a couple of weeks until one day out of frustration, (I'd like to say it was out of obedience), I picked up a pen and paper and wrote for 7 hours straight! Do you think maybe I needed therapy and God knew it?

I've been writing ever since and have learned to love it! I started out sharing my stories with friends and family. I've now been published in a Nashville church paper, Our Daily Journey (a devotional site of RBC Ministries), PCCWeb Daily Devotional, Ruby for Women Ezine Magazine, and I am a contributor in the book Alabaster Jars, Life in Abundance Collection 2.

Why Ponderings? During this life storm, God led me to a pond in the woods behind my home. There He met me each time, teaching new lessons, reminding me of old ones, showing His presence and allowing me to feel His love through the surroundings of that pond. I found myself returning over and over to ponder, pray and praise. A healing of my heart took place and out of the experience came my first book, Ponderings From the Pond, then a second book, Ponderings From My Porch, and now a third book is in the works along with a memoir about my storm.

Why am I making myself so vulnerable? Because God has done so much that I cannot keep quiet. I have to share. Jesus's last words to his desciples were, "Go,tell." We are his disciples too and this is just one of my ways of telling.

I'm no scholar but I have heard God's voice in my spirit, experience His love daily, and have a desire for others to experience this also. I would love to share with all who visit and I would love to hear from you. If my sharing gets just one to ponder, to be quiet with the Father, to see and hear from Him or to be reminded of something from Him, then this is worth my vulnerability.

As you visit me, sometimes we will be at the pond, sometimes we will move to the front porch, and sometimes we will just be here, there, and yonder. Thank you for coming and please feel free to come back anytime, you are always welcome here.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14


My first book, Ya Know What I'm Say'n, has been released.



Monday, January 3, 2011

Wounds (written in 2009)

            On many of my first trips to the pond, I sat out there nursing my emotional wounds. My precious first born son, after the age of 18, left home, family and everything good God had blessed him with.  I was hurt and for a good year I sat in a pit wallowing in my misery.  (That story is coming later.) 
            I know my son must have wounds.  I’ve tried to understand but still do not at this point.             I feel others lured him away with their words and lifestyles that do not honor God.  We tried to reason with him in the beginning but he wanted to listen and be with them instead of us.  It seems the more we talked and loved him, the more he turned towards the others.  This brings to my mind Proverbs 27:6,
            “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
            Here is what the footnote in the bible says about this:
            Who would prefer a friend’s wounds to an enemy’s kisses?  Anyone who considers the source.  A friend (or family), who has your best interest at heart may have to give you unpleasant advice at times, but you know it is for your own good.  An enemy, by contrast, may whisper sweet words and happily send you on your way to ruin.  We tend to hear what we want to hear, even if an enemy is the only one who will say it.  A friend’s advice, no matter how painful, is much better.
            Satan, the ultimate enemy is such a deceiver.  He has disguised us, the family, as the enemy to stay away from and our son’s friends as the true friends, even though he is withering in their presence.
But I do not nurse my wounds anymore. God used a lot of people, things, and places to bring healing to my heart, the pond being one of those places. God has helped me to let go of trying to understand and I’ve learned to put my total trust and understanding in the Lord who I know is watching over him.  I have surrendered my prodigal into His loving care.  Yes, there is still a pocket of sadness in my heart and I miss my son terribly, but God has brought healing and joy in so many ways.
If the God of the Universe can meet me each time at a small pond behind my house and show me His love through the heart on a tree, remind me of who He is through a rock, remind me of His character through the tadpoles, show me He is watchful of me as He is to the birds of the air, how can I stay sorrowful.  I am loved beyond understanding and so is my son.  If God meets me at a pond, He will meet my son wherever and whenever he is ready.  I know my son will be alright, because he is under the watchful eyes of His Heavenly Father as he is in the shadow of His wings.
In the healing, scars emerge. Whether emotional or physical, these scars are not to be ashamed of.  Wherever there is a scar, there is a testimony.  The scars represent beauty, not ugliness.  I believe God wants us to share those scars, those testimonies, so others can gain courage to do the same.
When I visit the pond now, I come to worship my Lord and Savior, Yahweh-Rophe, the healer of wounded hearts.  I am healed in more ways than one because of the wounds of another.  And His scars are the most beautiful!

“But He was pierced for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities’
The punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
And by his wounds we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5

            Thank you Lord Jesus!

1 comment:

Maryellen said...

Kris, that is such a beautiful testimony. I think of my own daughter as I read your words and I feel the hurt and the healing as well. Thanks so much for sharing your wounded heart and the healing that only God can give. Love you,